TOO MANY QUESTIONS
by PanicButton
Summary: ReidCentric: He is losing his mind or someone lost it for him... slashy whump reidomc
1. Chapter 1

**TOO MANY QUESTIONS**

_Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it: - __Georges Duhamel,_

**A/N: You know who you are. Thank you for in inspiration! Pb**

**The prologue **

**(THE GRAVEROBBER)**

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night. He'd given it a few more months…easier to do this in the spring. When there has been a lot of rain.

The head stone stands shiny and wet….a little row of golden pebble resting on the top of the big marble stone.

"Tonight." He whispers to himself…the rain pouring in torrents…sticking his thick dark hair to his face and neck. There is someone watching him from the shelter of a big old tree…another person with long dark hair…standing with a look on impatience. His arms wrapped tightly around himself…his head cocked slightly to one side. A smoke burning in his mouth…and a gun slung at this side.

Back to the one talking to himself who glances at the person watching him and then looks back down at the ground…

The thunder rolls….the lightening flashes…Someone somewhere screams and a dog barks.

And he starts to dig…

Talking all the time…"I'm on my way babes."

His long dark coat is getting water logged and dirty as he disturbs the earth and slowly turns it to a stinking clay heavy mud…One spade full after another…throwing it haphazardly to the side. "Not long now." He mutters down into the hole just before he jumps down.

The watcher leaves his shelter and walks over to the edge of the grave. He looks at the row of pebbles and swipes them away with the back of his hand. Then he looks down into the hole. "You want a smoke? A drink?" He asks. And gets a quick nod in return.

"Yes…yes." He mutters…and though he is digging and dirty covered he doesn't sound out of breath. He is working quickly. "Fucking thing is filling with shit." He says as a muddy hand accepts the smoke from the boy.

"It would do dad….its pissing it down."

The two pairs of eyes lock for a moment and they grin at each other.

"Wise beyond your years my boy, now the drink?"

And a silver hip flask is passed over….

A contented sigh and another smile.

The digging starts again…and the boy moves back away from the widening deepening hole in the ground. "Dad…shall I get the other done while I'm waiting."

The sounds of the digging stops and a filthy face looks up. "Good idea. Just don't get caught."

"I could say the same of you. Don't for fuck's sake get caught."

"Don't you fucking swear at me boy."

But the younger of the two is bending down and picking up a tool off the ground. "Screw you areshole." He mutters under his breath…and walks off into the storm leaving digger down his hole.

The rain continues to fall but it doesn't slow him down and eventually the sound of the metal hitting wood can be heard…and a small chuckle of relief. The job will be easier now that there is light…so the speak – at the end on the tunnel. The sound of soft singing can be heard but the words are too soft and mumbled and dirt filled to make sense to anyone but the person singing…Eventually the guy bounces from the hole and crouches on the edge, looking around…looking for Sam…who is not yet back from doing his job. He stays crouched on his haunches and lights up a dark smoke from a battered pack…it's a messy hand rolled cheroot and the smell is vile…but it puts a smile on the graverobbers face.

He moves slightly and looks at the stone…the writing deeply engraved into it…He kisses his fingers and gently traces over the name…slowly erasing it as he goes.

"Hey."

A voice from the dark.

And he stands and watches the boy come over with a metal container in his hand.

"Well done. I need some help here now…" and the boy drops the container down into the grass and runs over to the tree. He fetches back with him a dark blue blanket and he stands holding it and sighs.

"You totally sure about this?" He asks his dad.

"couldn't be more sure."

"You know each time it corrupts slightly don't you? I cant keep doing this."

"I know."

"You might not get another go."

"I know that too….are you going to help or just stand there."

Raised eyebrows and a nod. "Go for it then." And he watches his dad jump back down…and hears the sound of his fathers booted feet landing on wood. Now he crouches down glancing at the urn in the grass and then down the hole.

There is a sound of splintering of wood….and a small moan of…maybe it is delight…or maybe it is grief. The boy picks up the urn and jumps down there too with the blanket.

The crouch…and wrap the blanket over their heads…the boy keeps them sheltered whilst trying not to look at the body in the box…The grave robber lights four candles and then leans forwards and touches the hair in the grave.

"Hey Babes…I said I'd come for you. I'd never let you down."

The lid is pulled off the urn and the contents scattered. He looks over at the younger version of himself who is holding a large golden watch on a long heavy golden chain.

"Ready?"

A nod.

"Go for it."

-o-o-o-

The thunder carries on and the lightening cracks down between some distant trees.

Two man stand alone in a field.

The both have puzzled looks on their faces as they walk slowly in a tight circle.

The stars shine brightly overhead and the full moon looks huge and bright. For as far as you can see there is…

Nothing….

Well …the field….and trees.

"Sam?" He looks at his mud splattered son who is now rubbing the dirt off of the watch. "Sam!"

"What?!" He snaps back at his father.

"Exactly how far back did you bring us?"

A sigh. "It was dark…there was fucking mud everywhere!"

"And."

"And nothing."

"Exactly…that's what I see…nothing." Hands now stuffed deep in his pockets.

"Mistakes happen!"

"Evidently."

"No one is perfect!"

A nod. "Obviously."

"You want to try again?"

"Definitely."

"You going to stop talking to me like that?"

"Eventually."

The two hold onto each other with one hand and Sam spins the watch again.

* * *

**Chapter one**

I cant put my finger on it.

Something is wrong.

There is something different about … most everything. But…no…if asked what it was I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Something though is wrong.

I sit at my desk and stare at the forms in front of me. My pen gripped too tightly in my hand as I listen to the conversations going on around me – rather I hear them but don't listen.

My eyes are tired…my soul is tired. I want to go home and soak in the tub…

It is still only two in the afternoon…a long day yet.

So I look back down at the pen and see that I have been drawing circles over the form. So I sigh and pick it up in my left hand and screw it up and bin it.

Someone somewhere is laughing.

I don't feel like this is the place for laughs today. I don't know why…

Something just feels wrong.

The pen gets put down and I stand and pick up my messenger bag.

"Hey kiddo…where are you going?" and I turn slowly and look at Morgan and horrible images start flashing before my eyes…and so I squeeze them tightly shut.

Has it started? Is this what I have been waiting for all my life?

"Home." I say to him. "I'm going home"

I should tell Hotch…I turn and I can see he is looking down at me from his office. I don't want to talk to him. I cant face him…not today…again images flashing…Almost like a premonition, but somehow not and I'm not going to go up there and tell him I am seeing things.

It's the start.

I turn back to look at Morgan. "I don't feel too well." I say…as I see the back of his head explode over and over again. I can taste blood. I can feel a terrible pain in my hands and I sit back down again before I fall down. Really I don't know if I can make it to the elevator.

"Do you need a ride home?"

But his voice is foggy and distorted now….and I cant go home with him…I want to just teleport home. I just….need….I don't …….

-o-o-o-

He has been acting strangely recently and I am worried about him. The last case we had I managed to keep him back at base going over maps most of the time. He looks ill…Sometimes…the way he looks at me as though I am a stranger. I think I know what is going on but, I hope…god I hope he's not slipped back and doing drugs. I stand and watch him from my window and I want to reach out for him…get him to come here…confide in me…but I know he wont. I know he is scared.

He thinks he is cracking up.

I can tell.

I can see by that look…the scared rabbit…deer caught in the headlights look about him.

Maybe he just needs rest.

I watch as he sits back down again and Morgan steps forwards…and Reid puts a hand up to stop him…and he slides…very gracefully to the floor. I am out of my office and into the bullpen before you can blink. Morgan is there kneeling on the floor looking worried and touching Spencer's face.

"Derek?"

Morgan looks up at me as I begin to crouch down next to the man I secretly adore.

"He fainted." And the hands are gently slapping him. "Reid buddy…wake up." And it is a relief initially as his eyes flutter open and he looks around at us.

"Get him some water." I tell him…I have to distract him. I don't like what I am seeing, so as Derek moves off I take Spencer's hand. "It's just me Spencer." But the look of terror on his face cannot be disguised. Prentiss is standing there her eyes almost stupidly too big as she takes in the expression on Reid's face.

-o-o-o-

I'm curled up on my bed and Hotch is here and I want him to go away. Please just go and leave me alone…but I don't think he is going to.

"What's going on Reid?" He is sitting on the corner of my bed fiddling with the corner of the bedding. I want to tell him…but I cant…I cant even look at him.

"I just have a bad head." I say…which covers so many grounds I feel it will suffice.

"Do I need to call a doctor?"

"No – no Hotch I will be ok."

"I'll stay the night." He sounds determined to get to the bottom of this….but I still don't want to even look up at him…I get sudden taste of blood in my mouth again and it causes me to curl up even tighter…

"No. I want to be alone." I mumble into my pillows. "Please Hotch…go."

I feel the weight leaving the end of the bed and I hear him sigh. "You know how to reach me….I'm not happy leaving you like this."

"I know…I need to be alone."

And a exhaling of breath as he walks away. "Please Reid take the rest of the week off at least. Rest. Call a doctor."

I mumble something he wouldn't be able to hear…I don't even know what it was….but I hear him leave and close my bedroom door. I put my hands to my face and test to see if there is blood. There doesn't seem to be any. I don't know why it feels as though I have been drinking blood.

As soon as I hear the front door close I am up off the bed and moving at speed to the bathroom.

I run water into the tub and strip off throwing my dirty clothes into the corner of the room. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and inspect my body. I have a scar across my chest but I have no memory of how I got it. There is a mark on my arm too…left arm…but it too seems – I don't know…like it wasn't there yesterday. It's not familiar. Look closer for other marks and dents in my skin…I try to place incidents for each…and for most I can…but the one on my chest and arm? I have no idea. I look now at my hands…my joints hurt…it feels as though I have been punching something in anger…but again I cant put a reason to it.

The water is ready in the tub now…so I add bubbles and slide into the warm water….this is what I have been needing all day…a long soak…and….

……..and there is something else…someone else…but by head is confusing me. I feel it for lumps and bumps wondering if I fell and hit my head…but I find nothing…So I soap up my hair and slide under the water and just relax and try to forget.

It is early evening and I am curled up on my chair with a book I haven't read before and a big mug of coffee when the doorbell goes.

I nibble on my bottom lip and get up to answer it. I'm in my pyjamas and a tatty bathrobe…but that's alright…it will be Hotch checking up on me.

The locks are quickly pulled back and I swing the door open. It has to be Hotch as he is the only person who has the pass for the downstairs security door…

I frown…well Hotch and this person standing at me door staring at me anyway.

"Shit Spence…you're not ready." And he pushes me out of the way and walks in kicking the door closed behind him. "Hurry up babes…Don't want to be too late."

But I just stand and look at him…

Beautiful he may be….

Looking good definitely…

But I don't know who he is.

So I stand and carry on nibbling on my bottom lip and watch him move around in my kitchen…I watch closely…he knows where my things are kept…he's been here before.

"Excuse me." I say quietly. "Do I know you?"

And he turns to look at me and the happy face I could see when he walked in has gone and is replaced by a sad one. "Oh shit…you've forgotten again?"

I shrug as he pulls something out of his pocket and puts it on the counter. A small photo album.

"I'm Floyd. I am your lover. You have a shit memory and keep forgetting. Did you see the doctor today?"

Slowly I move forward and pick up the photos…pictures of this Floyd me in various places. I definitely know him "Doctor?"

He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "You had an appointment to see a doctor today…about…" And he taps my forehead. "Your memory lapses….and erm…visions."

So I slowly shake my head and he responds by nodding his. "No worries…go get changed…we'll call him again tomorrow after work or something."

"I erm…I have the week off."

"Even better…I can come with you tomorrow…go and get dressed...We are going out." And he is smiling and going back to making a coffee. "Or we can stay in and I can screw your brains out."

* * *

**A/N: hhmm…this is the start…want me to carry on?**

* * *


	2. Chapter 2 Sharing

Chapter 2

**A/N: SLIGHT SLASH**

Sharing

* * *

I get another funny look from Floyd when I reappear in my cords and striped shirt.

"Wrong wrong wrong…where is that shirt I got you….and the black cords?"

"I I erm. This is a no smoking complex."

But it doesn't stop him carrying on smoking in my apartment.

"Come with me babes."

And there is something familiar about him…I want to…need to maybe touch him…I don't know…but I let him lead me back to the bedroom where he pulls open my cupboards and pulls out a black slightly fitted shirt and a pair of expensive looking cord pants.

"What? How did….."

"Don't keep thinking to hard Spence. Get ready." He picks up a bottle of body spray. "Make sure you smell good. Not that you don't always. I'll get you a coffee."

I nod and look at the things he just took from my cupboards…I could swear I've never seen them before…but they fit wonderfully. They feel great. I roll the sleeves up on the shirt and look in the mirror. How on earth can I have forgotten this? When I turn around he is there with two mugs in his hand and a smile on his face.

"Looking wonderful. Here." He passes me a coffee which I sip carefully only to find it is made to perfection.

"Floyd, I'm sorry."

And he nods and me and gives me a resigned face. "Don't worry babes. Don't worry. You can get to know me again – and again…and again. It's not a problem for me."

I bite on my bottom lip and sigh. "We are going out you said."

"I was going to take you clubbing….but I think you might be happier just going for a drink. Somewhere quiet."

And I nod at this man who says he is my lover and I don't know…I really don't know if I am even gay.

"Floyd." I put my mug down. "How long have we been erm…are we dating?"

He picks up my mug and wipes his hand over the place it had been resting. "Use coasters…can you try to remember to use a damned coaster…you are getting marks all over the fucking furniture." He turns his back on me and walks from the room. "Since you were sixteen."

Now this seem unbelievable. "Sixteen! That isn't possible. I would remember." Hear the crash of mugs hitting the kitchen sink and I move quickly to see what is going on. He has his back to me. He is shorter than me…and has a slight build…and there is something so damned familiar about him that it is making me want to scream. "I have known you all this time?"

I see his shoulders slump and he turns to face me. "I have known you a lot longer than that…we started dating when you were sixteen."

"I couldn't have done. Not so young….not then."

Another sigh and he pulled out something to smoke. "Well you did…and we sort of kept it a secret then…and sort of still do. Now…you choose…quite drink or a fuck."

"A drink." I want to call Hotch…ask him who this person is…Hotch would know wouldn't he? Or Morgan? I made sure I had my phone in my pocket as we walked to the door.

"Spencer." He turns and looks at me. "Take that fucking thing out of your pocket…you look deformed."

"Oh." I slide it out again and reach over for my bag but I can see him shaking his head. "Then where?"

"Leave it behind…we are going out to a bar for a drink…you wont need your cell. There are public phones if you need."

So I nod and still feeling confused and unsure of what the hell I am doing I leave my apartment with a stranger who makes me leave my cell behind and claims to have been dating me since I was sixteen. "Wait! Just wait a minute."

By now we are down stairs by the main doors. "Since I was sixteen? What did dating involve at such a young age?"

"I claimed your arse as my property…now are you coming or not?"

-o-o-o-

It was a bar I'd not been to before.

Maybe.

I was doubting a lot of things…I was definitely doubting that I had a relationship with this man….however wonderful looking he might be…his attitude was not a good one. We had arrived by bike at a breakneck speed and I just want now to sit and relax…

Floyd directs me to a booth and gets the drinks in…again he seems to know what I like before I do.

When he joins me he doesn't sit next to me…he sits the other side of the table and sits with his elbows on the surface and his chin resting on his hands. "Fire away." He says to me with a smirk on his face.

"How do I know you?" I look at the drink but I don't touch it.

"Known you since you were a little kid. We hung out and stuff."

And stuff….I didn't like the sound of that.

"So – if I've known you for so long…why don't you live with me?" Did I really just ask that?

"We've tried. It doesn't work. I smoke too much. I like my whores."

"Oh." Fiddling with my fingers under the table.

"Which is why I love you so much Spence."

"You what?" love me?

"It's OK…I don't expect it reciprocated. You're not well. Which is why I need you to see that damned doctor…I cant believe you forgot."

I shrug and look at my drink. "I don't know you."

He moves back away from the table taking his tumbler of whiskey with him. "It'll come back to you. I just need to give you the right stimulus. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

The place suddenly becomes much too hot and stuffy. I need to get out and get away from this man. I am almost expecting to see his head explode or something but I don't…he just seems to sink further back into the shadows.

"I want to go home."

-o-o-o-

I was obviously expecting it…He always wants to go home again…and this feeling over and over again of rejection is beginning to rile me. I just want to hold him and comfort him and he wont let me near him. I know he would rather have Hotchner and I am starting once more to regret my decision to bring him back with us.

We get up and leave the bar and walk back towards the bike. He is quiet tonight …and this is making me short tempered and more than a touch irritable. So I swing onto the bike and just look at him waiting for him to join me. The only touching I'm going to be getting will be as he holds onto me on the bike…and this pisses me off too. All that fucking trouble and he keeps forgetting who I am.

"Get on…I will take you home."

"I was thinking………"

"Of getting a cab…I know…get on the bike Spencer. I will take you home."

And he does…of course, like always…the same fucking routine. How the hell can he not remember it? Its it a short ride home….but I make the most of it and knowing he wont know go a very long way around. The feel of his arms around me…and as the journey carries on…slowly his head rests against me and it feels so good. Such a warm closeness. No one can replace this. When we finally pull up he slides off the bike and just stands there not knowing what to do.

"You are going to ask me up for a coffee?"

And I see the doubt pass a shadow over his face. "I'm not going to do anything Spencer. You can trust me."

So he nods. "A coffee then?"

Good good…build up a little bit of trust…so I smile happily at him and park the bike up somewhere safe and go with him to the main doors.

We take the stairs. I get the feeling he doesn't want to be in the elevator alone with me…yet he is taking me back to his apartment. So bloody typical of him really. I want to reach out and touch him…run my hand down his back…cup his buttocks in my hand…but I know he wont like it….I need to take it easy…for now…

The apartment smells of cigarettes and coffee. He stands looking nervous and I go to the kitchen and make a fresh pot.

"Talk to me babes…ask me questions…get to know me again."

But he shakes his head. "You are just here for a coffee. I don't really want to get to know you."

I watch him carefully as he walks past the kitchen door…and hardly noticeable he swipes his cell phone on the way past.

"Fine." I follow him mug less and coffee free into the lounge. "Who are you calling?"

He didn't know I was there and he spins around fumbling with the phone which I deftly snatch from his hand. "I told you…you don't need that. So who are you calling?"

He is shaking his head and his eyes have gone big…I can see him glancing over to where he keeps his gun and now I shake my head.

"Spencer." I throw the cell over my shoulder and move in close. "Spence babes….what is the rule about guns?" He is nibbling his bottom lip. "We don't use them. Sure at work…I'll let you…but you're at home babes…so no guns."

"But…"

And our noses are almost touching as he steps back and I step in. "But nothing. I can see you need reminding."

And his hand rises and is placed on my chest to keep me back. "Please just leave."

As punches go it wasn't too hard….but it sent him back and he caught the backs of his legs on the coffee table which in turn unbalanced him and forced him to sit. And really that vision was all I needed…I was on him…kneeling astride and pushing him back so he's laying down…I don't need to smash my knuckles in his face again…he's not fighting me now…he just looks dazed. My hands move quickly and the buttons slide apart and I can pull his shirt open at the front.

I know he wants me.

I can smell it on him…

But he doesn't understand.

So I lick at his chest and run my tongue over his skin and I bite gently and then not so gently on his nipples and then as my mouth moves down I exchange my mouth for my fingers and pinch and squeeze at him and lick and nibble and bite.

And I can hear those lovely little noises he makes when he wants me.

And I can feel his hands in my hair and his fingers twisting and pulling gently. "Floyd." He whispers to me.

"Is it coming back to you yet?"

But he doesn't answer….so either it is of he is just the whore I know he is. I move back away from him stand. "Take me." I tell him…and he slowly sits up and he is looking up at me with the eyes I will die for…so one hand I grab his hair and the other I am undoing my jeans…and I feel his hands touching me…holding my hips and then one hand moves up and is touching my skin under my shirt.

And flesh slides over flesh…and kisses…gentle kisses he is so damned gentle I want to scream as he licks and touches and holds me. But I move away from him...and like the dirty dog he is he is down on his knees in front of me.

But I don't want it like this.

I don't want this soft gentle love.

So I give him what I know he really wants….I push him onto his back on his nice rug I got him from India…and as he tears at my shirt I feel a strange rage building up inside of me.

"Don't touch." I snap and get back up to my knees.

His hands reach forward for me a puzzled look on his face.

"Floyd?"

"Shut up…don't talk to me…don't fucking touch me." I bounce to my feet and look down at the filth on the floor. "So Dr Reid…why the change of heart. You wanted me to leave…and now you want me to plough your arse…tell me why?

He sits and rubs at his nose. "I – I…"

"You rejected me over and over tonight…and you think one suck is going to get you what you want?"

He is shaking his head. "No…no…I'm sorry…I didn't mean….."

"No you never fucking do mean it…but that's not the point…you did it. And tomorrow you will do it again…and I fucking fed up with it."

"I don't understand…what did I do?"

and he genuinely looks confused as he picks himself up off the floor and looks at me.

"I'm going." And I turn my back on him…this is so carefully planned…rehearsed in my head it cant go wrong…I know what he will do…I know how he will react…and I know what I am going to do to him. I move so I am facing the wall and I lean forwards with my palms pressed against the pale yellow paint. I hear him behind me and I time it. One, two, three. And my elbow moves back so fast he doesn't see it…he feels it though…and before he can stumble and go down onto his knees I have spun and grabbed him by the throat and he is twisted and pushed up against the wall…my hand squeezing…the fear on his face…and I do think…I wonder briefly if this is part of the problem with the memory.

Oh well..

Too late now…

I've done it.

I watch him calmly as he struggles against me…and though he is taller…and probably weighs more than me…even though he is a skinny little shit…I have muscle…and my fingers dig in…and my knee comes up and presses against his groin…and now I see real fear…

"Never bring strangers home Spence. Stupid mistake."

And keeping one hand on his neck the other takes his hair…and one, two, three, I count up to ten each number is joined by his head making hard contact with the wall…and finally he stops struggling and I can let go.

He doesn't have to know what I do to him. I give him a hand job….I fuck him hard…I do wonderful things to his body with my tongue…and when I am finished I am exhausted. I lay back on the Indian rug and look at him…the man we turned back time to rescue…and he doesn't know who I am. Fucking wonderful. I reach over and run my fingers over his soft skin.

The gentle tapping on the door causes me to stop playing with him and look down to where the noise is coming from…

"Shit."

I get up and pull my clothing to me better and walk to the door.

I know who it is…

And really it's not a surprise…I just wanted a bit of time the two of us…but no…Sam is here.

"Hey." He says as he walks in….

A slightly smaller and more obnoxious version of myself…and he annoys me. He has favour and gets things I want. And right now he wants Spencer.

"Do you mind?" He asks me as he starts to undo the straps on his dungarees.

I look at him…and at the battered mess on the floor. "You fucked it up Sam. You need to fix it."

"I'm here to socialise …not work. Do you mind?"

I pull a pack of smokes out of my pocket and a small silver lighter. I sit on Spencer's leather chair and again look at Sam then at Spencer and shake my head…

"Go for it."

* * *


	3. Chapter 3 To Share or Not To Share

Chapter 3

To Share or Not To Share

* * *

The little shit.

I don't know why I am letting him get away with this crap.

Well I do.

I need him.

I need them both.

But not like this.

"Get off him." I stand and move over. "Sam…get off."

He turns and looks up at me…he looks pissed off…hell he always looks pissed off.

"We had an agreement."

And his hands are moving over Spencer's bruised ribs.

"Yes…and you screwed it up…so get off. Fix the mess then we can talk about it again."

But he turns away from me and his hands are moving over that battered flesh again.

"I said to get off him." And I move in to stand behind him. "Now."

"And what if I don't want to?" And his head dips down and his tongue takes a long languid lick on my Spencer. Mine…and right now…I don't want to share…least of all not with my own spawn. My boot meets the side of his head with a force that knocks him clean away…and I move in fast…I have to be fast…I know what a shit of a fighter this boy is…I taught him everything I know. I need to keep him away and I watch as one of his hands goes to his head and the other for a knife he had stuffed down his boot.

Here's the thing you see…I never told Sam not to use weapons…no need…he's not part of the deal…so he does…and he is damned good with them too. I have to be grateful that he didn't have his pistols with him…just this erm…ten inch razor sharp blade.

"Put that down and fight." I snarl at him…though I know he wont…it's worth a try…He pounces at me with the blade slashing in front of him so I step aside and grab for his wrist. "Let go." I spit into his face…but his hand is tight around it and now we are standing close but at least away from Spence who is laying unmoving on the floor. His hand twists and pulls in mine as he attempts to force the blade against my skin. I feel it…I feel it begin to press in and I feel the blood on my chest oozing out and downwards….and he is going to have my heart out if I let him…

My head smashes against his and my hands push him back…

"How dare you…How dare you come here and try to take what I earned fairly."

"You said I could have some…it was part of the deal."

And I step back in and this time I wrench the blade away from him. "No Sam…the deal was you fix it you have some…you've not fixed it…You fucked it up."

I watch his dark evil eyes glance at Spencer and then back at me again. "I told you it corrupts…I bloody warned you."

"This?! This is more than a little corruption Sam….he doesn't know who the hell I am! He still remembers the past…but the wrong fucking past!"

I watch him lick his lips and look at Spencer again.. "I was expecting…."

"NO! you cant have him…You fix this mess…then we will talk about some sort of arrangement."

He is pacing now and I hold the blade ready to take the son of a bitches head off if he tries anything.

"I cant fix it. I do time…I don't do fixing…I don't tidy up the mess…that's not my job. You want Rosa for that but she'll have a bigger price to ask for than I have. She will want both of you."

"I need you to leave Sam…I need you to get the hell out and go home. Find a way to fix this mess or I will fix you…do you understand me?" He stops pacing and spins to look at me.

"You threatening me daddy?"

"I brought you in…it is my right to remove you. Get out…go home…fix your fucking mess."

I can see blood on his mouth where my elbow caught him…and I can feel blood still on my chest…but it's stopped bleeding…its sitting there sticky and messy. "You can't order me around!" And I thought…honestly I thought he was going to kick Spence…I saw his foot come back as he turned around…I saw Spencer move slightly and moan as he started to come round again…and I saw the way Sam was getting ready to kick him…and that is why I did it.

It went in between his shoulder blades….and the point came out of his chest.

And no…I should maybe not have plunged a knife in the back of a sixteen year old kid….but even if he is my spawn…he is a fucking bastard and was going to hurt the only thing I might love. Still not totally sure it is love.

It stopped him though….and I pulled it out….and it made a lovely squelching noise and the smell was so fabulous that I would have…no…I wouldn't have…but I might have…damnit…I needed a mouth on me then…but he turned and made a strange squealing noise so I stuck it in again…and this time he didn't move…this time he twitched just a bit then stopped.

"Shit."

I pull it out and watch him flop in a lump to the floor.

"Ah crap…I didn't mean…I didn't want…ah fuckit." So I bend down and grab a hand and drag him out of the lounge and into the bathroom where I dump him into the bathtub. "You'll get over it. Deep breaths son…deep breaths."

But now there is blood everywhere…smears of it all over the floor and the only thing I can do now is leave that room and close the door on that bit of mess…and then I can deal with this crap. I can hear Spence moaning and groaning and I want him…I want him so bad I am going to fucking burst…

But there is blood on the floor and I cant stand dirty floors…so I am glancing back to the kitchen where the cleaning stuff is…and listening to Spencer and ….

I'll do the floor later.

He is on his stomach and his hands are holding the top of his head as though he is protecting it from something…His shirt is pushed up to the middle of his back and his cords pushed down past his buttocks and there are bite marks on his back and boot imprints on his ribs and those little noises…soft moans…

I kneel down next to him and place my hand on his back… "Babes." I talk gently to him…I want to comfort him and make it better… "Spence." And I rub gently on his back and move my hand down over his skin and the little moans get a bit louder and he is writhing ever so slightly on the rug.

-o-o-o-

I don't know what is going on.

I can remember pain…I can remember a lot of pain…and I could hear shouting…but I don't know what happened.

It feels as though I am only partially dressed…I can feel what has been done to me and there is someone here with me…

"Spencer?" and hands gently touching.

"Floyd?" I turn slowly on the rug which lays on my lounge floor and look into the dark eyes looking back at me. The shirt he has on is ripped and blood smeared…he had blood up the side of his face…but he looks worried.

"Babes…are you alright?"

No…no I'm not alright….I don't know what happened…I can remember being at work…and now I am here…and it feels like someone has raped me. I swallow and reach out a hand to touch him. "Hey." Is all I can think of to say. At least with him here I will be safe. He takes my hand in his and lifts it to his mouth and bites me gently on my knuckles.

"I'm here now…I've sorted it." He says…and I can feel the heat of his breath on the back of my hand. All I want to do is to be held…

Everything is wrong…

I don't know what it is…but it is scaring me. I don't like this feeling of not knowing…of being out of control…I have chunks missing…But Floyd just pulls me close and runs his fingers over my face.

"Turn over Babes." And I know what he wants…but I am sore…I just want to be held and feel safe. "Please." And his hands are now pushing me over onto my back and his mouth is kissing me and now I am on my side facing away from him…his hands pulling at my clothing…his mouth sucking on my bruised skin. "Let me comfort you." And his breaths again…so gentle on my skin that it makes me shudder.

"What happened?" I can tell my voice is shaking…and my throat hurts like someone has been choking me…I get odd flashes of memory…but they don't fit…they feel wrong….blood….I just keep seeing so much blood.

I can feel his hands on me…gently touching…gently working me…and it hurts like hell but I don't stop him. I know. I know my mother had huge lapses…and then completely lucid moments and I can feel the same thing happening to me…and I don't want to…I really don't want to…but was Floyd moves in and takes me I cry…not in pain…though yes it hurts…but self pity.

Will I even remember this is five minutes?

What have I forgotten? What happened to me?

There are strange twisted vague memories of being with a stranger…but I know I wouldn't do that. It just isn't in my nature to put myself at that sort of risk…though I do…I know I do put myself at risk in an attempt to feel alive.

I feel fingers playing over the skin on the side of my face wiping the tears…and I feel a hand working on me in other places too…one being gentle and soft and loving…the other being hard and rough and hurtful…

"Hey…it's OK babes…We will sort this outs\." His voice whispers into my ear.

"Sort it out?" How can it be sorted. I will have to be cared for…reminded to eat and wash…be told how to live and eventually I will be taken away and cared for by professionals…I am already part way there. "How?" I ask him…as he slows down what he is doing to me and just holds me tightly.

"We will see the doctor…I have people I can talk to. Please…I will sort it…don't worry."

"Floyd – you must promise me something." I feel his kisses on my bony shoulders.

"Ask…I don't know if I can promise…I don't know what you're gonna ask me."

"Don't get me locked away…even if it comes to the point that I forget who you are…please don't lock me away."

And his hands tighten on me but he doesn't answer me and this frightens me. "Floyd?" I hear him sigh…I feel the difference in the way he is holding me…and I feel him back away and out of me. "Floyd? What is it?"

I roll over onto my back and watch as he grabs his smokes and he lights up.

"It's just…well…I cant predict what the hell is going to happen Spencer….I cant promise you something like that. I can say I will do my best…I can say I will try…but I cant promise you…not any more than you can promise you will remember who I am when you wake up in the morning. I don't like to promise something I might not be able to keep. I don't make them lightly Spence…and when I do I stick by it…forever…you know…like with the gun…You know I will never go back on a word like that."

He looks worried so I pull my clothes back on properly and turn to look at him better. "It's started hasn't it? I have chunks of memory missing…I know it's started."

Floyd doesn't look at me…please just look at me! I glance around the apartment as I push up with a groan to sit and I don't much like what I am seeing. "Where did all this blood come from?!" I feel sure again that I should know…I look at the mess then back at Floyd who also is blood smeared and I try to connect everything…somewhere in my brain I know it is all there…the information is there…just misfiled.

"Yes…you've had a rough few days…but I will re book that appointment. I will help you through it. I can promise you this much Babes…if you remember me or not…I wont stop needing you." He moves and gets to his feet. I'm going to clean this mess up."

I nod at him. "Is this a crime scene? Who cut you? It wasn't me was it?"

But he looks at me and smiles. "No – no – it wasn't you. Sit and read…or make a coffee. I'll clean up."

"We should call someone…Floyd…"

But he is walking away. "You don't need to call anyone…I said…listen…I will sort it."

It is wrong…I know it is wrong…but my head is getting confused again…It is like a dreadful horror movie where the main character keeps seeing images of something dreadful which happened. I can see two men fighting…I can hear the shouting…I can hear them…and see flashes of them…and blood spray and my head feels so light. Slowly I get to my feet using the coffee table to help balance me…but I really don't feel like things are going well here…I need Floyd ..I need to see him…but all I manage to see is the floor coming up at my face much too fast.

-o-o-o-

I have been pacing outside the apartment for about half an hour. I want to make sure he is alright. I need to check up on him…I hated leaving him there alone and my fears of what is happening to that mine of his are almost over whelming. I have to make sure he is OK….he's not answering this cell…he's not answering his house phone. Final decision made…..I am going to just go up there and knock on his door until he opens it.

I've had time to go home and I'm in jeans and a casual shirt with no tie. The door buzzes me in and I take the stairs two at a time. There is a strange panic building up inside of me and I don't know why. Something has happened…I just know it has.

The recent headaches I have been having come back with a vengeance when I realise I am standing outside his apartment door. I knock quietly at first….but I get no response. I stand and just listen but there is nothing to hear so I knock louder. Still nothing. I do have an access key to his apartment but I don't know if I should use it. He might just be in the shower or sleeping…or he might….I knock louder and more insistently and now I hear someone and that someone is opening the door.

You have no idea what a relief it is to know he is alright…not dead somewhere but that feeling is very short lived when I see the person on the other side isn't Reid.

"Flanders." Is all I say…it's all I have to say.

"What do you want?"

He asks with a snarl.

"I want to see Reid." I give him a close inspection and the sight of the blood and the rubber gloves is not one which is instilling good feelings inside me. "Now."

"He's sleeping." And the door starts to close so my foot is there to stop it being such an easy job for him.

"I'm not going until I've seen him" And he sighs and moves back out of the way…I can see the blood encrusted on the front of his shirt and now I can smell bleach. "What's going on here?" I look at the buckets of hot water and scrubbing brushes.

"I'm cleaning. Now listen Hotchner…he is sleeping…he fell and hit his head but you know how head wounds bleed like fuckers…it's really not as bad as it seems…and don't you fucking well wake him…just check on him…takes his bloody pulse and temperature if you want but wake him and I will be one unhappy bunny."

I can see now the gash on his chest and I gesture towards it. "How did that happen?"

And he glances down at it. "I cut myself shaving. Now hurry up and do what you need to appease your conscience then fuck off…your smell makes me feel sick."

I don't like his sense of humour…I never have and I don't think I ever will…but I walk quickly to the bedroom and silently walk in. He is curled up on the bed with a single sheet covering his mostly naked form…he has on a pair of dark green boxers and a white vest top. The image makes my stomach flip and again I reprimand myself for having feelings like this for him…Not because he is a boy…no he is a man…not because of that…but because he is a team member…and I should keep personal feelings away from the job. It is dangerous to feel like this towards someone you work with…especially in my line of work. It colours decisions made. It stops you from thinking properly….as it is now. My mind fully focused on the outline of the body under the sheet…I am here to check Flanders hasn't killed him…not to feel like I want to lie with him and hold him and protect him…and I cant do that with Flanders watching me anyway.

So I move towards him…and I can see bruises on his arms…and on the side of his face. I can see he has been beaten…this is not just from a single fall. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"Wasn't me. He was mashed when I found him."

I can see he is breathing…the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders. I touch the hand I can see which is tucked up under his bruised chin and gently feel for his pulse…yes I know he is alive…but I still need to do this…so I can say I did check.

"Who the hell did this to him?"

I turn and look at Flanders who has now removed his gloves and is picking at dirty behind his fingernails. "He cant remember." He says quietly. "He is losing his mind…we are losing him." And he turns and walks back into the hallway. Carefully I stroke Reid's hair with my fingertips and stand up and leave the room as quietly as I entered closing the door behind me.

"What do you mean he cant remember?"

I get a set of raised eyebrows and he steps in close to me. "As I said…his mind is going…we just have to try to relocate it. I am taking him to see a doctor. He cant remember who did it…all he could tell me was it was a stranger he brought home with him from a bar."

"This is a crime scene." I hiss at him.. "Leave it…I want to find out what the hell went on here…he is one of my agents."

"Fuck off Hotchner. He didn't even remember who I was at first…I really don't think he is going to be a lot of use to the BAU right now. Let me help him. You can go now."

But I wont leave it like that and I pull my cell phone from my pocket to call someone in. "This place needs sorting….he needs to be in a hospital."

"NO! No…no you cant do that." The first word is shouted…the rest are whispered. "You want him to end up somewhere like Bennington? You want that of him? I wont let you do it…I am going to sort it…I told him I would sort it all out and I will. And as for the mess…he asked me to clean it up. He doesn't want the cops asking him questions he cant answer…just at least give him that bit of peace."

I still need to talk to him. I have no intention of going now. "Fine…carry on. I'll make a coffee and read until he wakes up. I do need to ask him myself what happened."

"Come back in an hour or something…just give me time to clear up…go get milk and donuts or something." And he is pressing notes into my hand… "Go – please…he will want a coffee when he wake and I don't think there is sugar….go look…check if you want."

So I do…I check…and there is a tiny bit of sugar left and no milk.

"I will be half an hour Flanders."

And he nods at me and goes to the door. "I will leave the door on the latch so you don't wake him when you return."

This is what I mean about feelings permitting your judgement to become impaired. I don't know why I listen to Flanders…I really don't know…but he sounds sincere…and he really is just cleaning…and Spencer is really just sleeping.

I will be back quicker than half an hour. The shop I know I am going to is only ten minutes away….and as I bounce back down the stairs and out of the doors I am calculating the time I have left.

-o-o-o-

Right…now to dispose of a body in the bath….

……….where's that knife gone?

* * *


	4. Chapter 4 The Cupboard

Chapter 4

The Cupboard

**A/N: BLOOD GORE MUCK AND GENERAL NASTIES. SLIGHT SLASH ALERT. BAD LANGUAGE, AND EVEN WORSE STORY TELLING!!**

* * *

I know in the cupboard in the hallway is a roll of plastic sheeting that Spence used when the decorators were in. I open up the cupboard and pull out the roll…I then push the other contents right back to make room for the new delivery.

I have to be fast. So I dump the roll on the floor by the bathroom door as I run to the lounge…the knife is laying on the coffee table so I grab it and I'm just about to go into the bathroom when I detour and run to the kitchen first…There I open the door under the kitchen sink and grab a claw hammer from the tool box sitting in there.

Now I am ready…I hold the hammer in one hand and the knife in the other…The bathroom door I open with my elbow and I kick the roll of plastic in infront of me.

"Crap."

I run back to the cupboard in the hall and grab a roll of tape….Running out of time…I race back to the bathroom.

Sam's not moved…which is good…I kick at the roll of plastic again so it unwinds a bit, drop the hammer and knife to the floor and then reach in and grab Sam by under his arms…and dump him on the plastic. There is a nasty red wet mess in the tub so quickly I turn on the water and let it wash some of it away. I then start to wrap Sam up in the plastic….and I have my first layer over him when he suddenly starts to move.

"Shit."

I reach out and grab the hammer and roll him over so he is on his front.

"Sorry sunshine." I say…and bring the hammer down on the back of his head. "But you shouldn't have touched him." And he is making horrible noises and squirming inside the plastic. The hammer comes down again and sticks into the back of his skull. "You'll get over it." I mutter as I wrench it out…trying not to make a mess…and bring it down again…he is hissing…and squealing as I smack him for a last time then place the hammer and knife on the plastic and continue to roll him up in it. As I flip him over I pause. I move my hand to his face and touch it through the plastic. "You'll recover. I just need you out of the way." He doesn't react…His eyes stare blankly at me…and I wonder briefly if I look that hot when I am dead. I would…you know…I and I know it's wrong…and I know what you would think of me…but it I lucky Hotchner is returning soon or I would fuck sweet sunshine here on the bathroom floor.

"Later." I say…and then carry on rolling him up…and grabbing the tape I wide it around him too…I need to make sure he doesn't get out if he wakes…and I don't want blood all over the place. I don't know how long it has taken…not long…but I didn't have long. I pick up my package and sling him over my shoulder after making sure the top and bottom is sealed…then I rush to the cupboard where I stuff him in and cover him in some cardboard boxes Spencer had books delivered in a while back. I close the door and carefully use some tape across the latch to make sure it won't swing open.

Job done…back to the bathroom…The tub has washed some of the blood away but by no means all of it…so I use my hands to sluice the water over the blood as quickly as I can…I at the same time grab a face cloth and wipe quickly at the small specks on the tiles…done, done, done, good enough for now. I am standing surveying the room one last time when I hear a voice behind me.

"Everything alright?"

I spin and see Hotch standing with a bag of groceries.

"Err yes…everything is wonderful…just…got distracted from the floors. I hate…I really cannot abide mess…on floors…and in bathrooms." I quickly use the face cloth still in my hand to wipe at my face knowing that blood on the cloth will now be disguised as my own.

"You should get that seen to." Hotchner says to me but then walks away…I follow him closely – I have the body of my teenage son hidden in the cupboard…I don't want him finding it. I slide the buckets across the floor so that they sit in front of the cupboard door….at least it will serve as a smell distraction from opening it. Not that he would…but it would be my luck that he would want to today. He puts things away in the kitchen whilst I get fresh mugs down. I know Spencer is still sleeping so there is small point in getting one for him. They are plain white mugs.

"So are you going to tell me what it is you want with us?"

He has been watching me make the drink…and he takes the proffered mug from my hand and holds it. "I don't want anything with you Flanders. I came to see Spencer."

I nod and try out a smile but I'm not much in the mood for smiles. "Well something sure as hell is wrong with him. I'm taking him to see a doc tomorrow. He should have gone today but he forgot. I should have come to get him."

"No you shouldn't have. I will arrange doctors' appointments for him. I can use Federal resources."

I sip at my drink and watch the Fed over the rim of my drink. "We don't need them…I have my own network. I have made an appointment. I want scans and shit done on him. Something is wrong. I can smell it."

I see him glanced towards the bedroom door and then back at me. "Smell it?"

"Like…I don't know…but yes…I will sort it." I will! "I told him I will."

He moves down towards the lounge and I haven't started cleaning there yet and it makes me cross…or is it nervous…not sure…but I get a twisting in my head...I don't want him down there where I beat and raped Spencer…then knifed my son. I really don't want him there…but it is that or let him wait with Spence…and I don't want that either. Reluctantly I grab a bucket from next to the door and a brush and cloth and follow Hotch. He is standing in the opening between the end of the passage and the lounge area taking it all in…using his damned profiler skills to assess exactly what went on here. I slide by him and slop the bucket down in the middle of the floor.

"Where has all the blood come from? That is not from one head wound…and if it is Reid should be in hospital."

He is standing with his hands in his pockets with an unfathomable look on his faced. "Well 'tis not all from him obviously. I said he fell and hit his head." Which he did…I could even show him the place he cracked his pretty head on.

"I'm calling someone in…You will stop what you are doing Flanders." And his cell phone is coming out of his damned pocket again…and the last people I want here are fucking crime scene shits…they will sniff out the body in the cupboard faster than I can say …well say much at all really.

"Spencer asked me not to…and I am passing that message on to you. He is filing no charges against anyone…he can't remember who did it…Give him a break for gods sake Hotchner. Let me clear this up so he can wake up to a clean house.

"You Flanders are a liar. I want to know what happened here."

And I see that little red mist closing in around my vision. "Liar? I'm a liar? I am here trying to help him. It was me who came and found him beaten and….and beaten…It was me who got him out of his despoiled clothes and cleaned up. It was me who was here Hotchner…not you." And my voice is no longer quiet. Sod you all…damn you all to hades… I walk past him again and back towards the bedroom. Hotchner is behind me. I can hear his breathing. I can hear his shitty brown loafers on the floor. I swing open the bedroom door and make for Spencer who is still sleeping.

"Wake up!" And I pull the covers back off him. I watch him moan and roll over onto his front. I know Hotchner can see marks on his back where his vest top has ridden up and I know he can see bite marks on the backs of his legs but I don't give a shit right now. I grab his hair and start pulling him off the bed. As he lets out a surprised and scared yelp, Hotchner is there pulling on me trying to drag me away.

"What in hells name are you doing?" He hisses at him. "Let him go."

But Spencer is wriggling under my hand now and calling out too. "Floyd! Stop it!" So I let go and he slides the rest of the way off the bed onto the floor and I step back and look at him.

"Sorry babes…Hotchner insisted on talking to you."

He rolls over so he is on his back and pushes up on his elbows and looks around him. He has that oh so fuckable look on his face and his hair is all over the place…I want to jump his bones right there but no…Hotchner is here. In the way. Always in the damned way.

Spence looks from me to Hotchner and back again. "What's going on?" He pulls his knees up tight and hugs his legs.

-o-o-o-

He looks like a wounded animal…not Federal Agent. He looks scared and beaten and confused. I kneel down in front of him, but he seems to pull back further away from me.

"What do you w w want?" His voice is so quiet I can hardly hear him. I want to reach out and touch him to let him know I'm not going to hurt him.

"I just want to know you are alright."

And Flanders talks from behind me. "He wants to know who you were whoring with. Who you brought home…how much you got paid….and who raped you."

I spin on the spot still kneeling and I want to kill the bastard right there. I want to blow his damned brains out. "Get out…let me talk to him." I hiss at him.

"I'll be scrubbing the floors." He pauses then adds. "And the walls."

I turn back to Reid whose eyes have gone huge and wet. Again I want to comfort him but when I put out my hand he backs away from it again…so I leave it for now.

"I need to know if what he says is true." I say gently. "Did you bring someone back with you?"

His response is slow…but it is there…a very slow nod and a lick of the lips. "Hotch..." but if he was going to say more I don't know….he didn't…he just stopped and looked at me with wetness trickling down his cheeks. He swipes angrily at his face with the back of his hands and I take the chance to move in again and grab his hand.

"Tell me what happened. Someone beat you – you must remember what happened…who did this to you?"

But he is just looking down at my hand and curling his fingers around it and shaking his head. "I don't – I don't remember."

"OK…that's OK Reid…now the mess…did you ask Floyd to clear it up?"

Again licking the lips and nodding. "Yes. Hotch…I'm sorry…I really don't remember what happened…I can remember being at work…then waking up on the floor of my apartment. I can sort of remember being out…in a bar…but I don't know who I was with."

"Are you sure you weren't with Flanders?" I need to know.

"I think I would remember if I was." And now he pulls his hand away.

I sit back now and cross my legs and just watch him as he rocks gently back and forth. "Spencer – Flanders…."

"Floyd." He cuts in. "His name is Floyd."

So I nod and start again. "Floyd says he is taking you to see a doctor. I need you to remember something." And maybe I could have chosen my wording better as it causes Reid to rock a bit harder and knock his head repeatedly against the wall he is leaning against. "Spencer…look at me." But his eyes have drifted to the ceiling. "Spencer…you are not your mother…Whatever it is going on with you isn't what is wrong with your mother."

And now he is looking back at me. "And you know what is going on? You know all the details? You were there when my mother was ill?" He sounds angry…but he looks hurt.

"No, no I wasn't and I'm sorry."

"I was." Flanders voice from behind me. "I saw what happened to his mother…and this isn't the same." I turn and look at him.

"You saw?" He has his sleeves rolled up and is rubbing at his arms.

"Spencer…Go back to bed. Hotchner can see you are OK…just sleep for now…I'll get you up when you need to be." And he looks at me. "You can have the couch if you insist on staying."

So I stand and look down at Spencer who is rocking again and now his eyes are flickering all over the room. Something is horribly wrong. I put my hand down to him. "Spencer Floyd is right…you should be sleeping."

Once he is back curled up on his bed and I have stood back and watched Flanders cover him over again and god help me kiss him gently on the mouth…Once that is done we both leave him to sleep. I return to the lounge and sit on the couch and retrieve my coffee.

"He needs to be in hospital."

Flanders sits in Reid's chair. "I know…but he is scared…do you want to get him locked away?"

I shake my head quickly. "I didn't mean that…but something is wrong."

"I know. I know something is sodding wrong! Do you really think I don't know that? Why do you think I'm here clearing up his mess…I'm not his bloody nurse…I don't want to do this…but Sam…."

"Sam?"

I watch him bite on his bottom lip "Sam…It doesn't matter. How are you feeling Hotchner? Headaches?"

I don't know how he knew…I'd not told Reid so he couldn't have repeated it. "A few."

And Flanders nods. "Thought so…the nose bleeds will come soon. I advise you carry tissues with you."

"I want to come with you tomorrow." I tell him and he nods at me.

"I thought you probably would. Not a problem with me if it's not with Spence."

-o-o-o-

I don't want him staying the night. I don't know if Sam will stay 'asleep'. I want to check up on him and cant. Shit…

"Or you can go home and I'll call you when I know what time the appointment is."

But he just looks at me and says. "Where are the spare blankets?"

And I know they are in the bloody cupboard with Sam… "Use the throw." I tell him…We don't have – he doesn't have spares." I want to be with Spencer. I want to curl up behind him…but Hotchner is here. "Wait…I'll get you a pillow. Use the bathroom…whatever…I'll be with Spence." I go back to the bedroom and grab a pillow off the bed and kiss my babe on the side of his face. "I'll be back soon." I say in a whisper…and then go back and throw the pillow to Hotchner.

"Thank you." He mutters at me.

"It's not out of choice." I snap back at him and return to the bedroom. I close the door and flick the latch across. Together at last I crawl up the bed and wriggle under the sheet. "You still awake?"

"How can I sleep with you two out there sniping?"

"Well I'm here with you now." And I kiss his back and start to pull off my shirt…the cut on my chest has already begun to heal but the fabric is stuck to the mess Sam made. And it reminds me that he his just outside …and I do have to get rid of him some how tomorrow…when Hotchner isn't around.

I feel Spencer wriggle and curl up more as I undo my jeans and push them down out of the way and with my mouth on his soft skin and one hand sliding his boxers down and the other moving around to the front I wonder if I should just once prepare him first….maybe…just maybe open the lube…but….naa…he likes it like this. So I force myself into him…and it doesn't hurt me…but I know it does Spence…I can feel the muscles twitching in alarm…but I can also hear the little noises of delight…and that's all I need really. I lick and suck and kiss and play with my Spencer until the sun comes up and I finally let him sleep…his skin is slick with sweat and there are smears of blood…but that's ok…he enjoyed it. He doesn't mind.

After all:

It's only Spence.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5 The Men

Chapter 5

The Men

* * *

We have an eleven am appointment with this doctor Flanders has arranged. I will go along too. I need to make sure he is doing what the said he was. I'm still not sure…something is very wrong about this whole situation…and he was right about the nose bleed. I had a shocker of a one in the shower that morning.

There is a funny smell too. In the apartment. I can't put my finger on what it is…but I am suffering from lack of sleep. The noises coming from their room last night…from Reid's room were not ones I want to remember or dwell upon…so I shoved them to the back of my mind and wish I had been part of it too.

But now we are on the way to the doctors.

I'm not dressed the way I want to be but I have no choice I will have to go casual. That's fine…

Flanders has on a black suit….of sorts…he is all in black…black jeans…and a black suit jacket and a fitted black shirt. His hair is just long enough to tie back and this is what he has done…he looks good…he looks nervous…but good.

Reid has on black cords and a very dark red shirt. His sleeves are rolled up and he is sitting in the front…I'm driving…Floyd is in the back…Spencer looks nervous too…and the feeling of dread is wearing off onto me too…by the time we arrive I think we are all in a mild state of panic. I pull up and the three of us just sit in silence…Floyd I can hear is taking long deep breaths…Spencer's are short and sharp and shaky.

"We will be late." Is all I say as I open the car door and slide out. It's a warm morning but I feel too hot and too cold at the same time. I don't know if I have ever been this scared. I turn and look at Spencer standing his side of the car…his face is too pale and a small crust of blood has formed under his nose. I stand and look at him. I don't know what we will find out…if anything…but today we will either go out and have joyous drinks of relief…or it will feel like the end of the world. Either way…I think the bar across the road will get utilised. It is Floyd who moves around the car and takes Reid's hand.

"It's OK babes. " He says quietly to him. "Once we know the problem we can fix it. I can fix it." And I see Spencer swallow and turn his head to look at Floyd…but there is doubt in those eyes…and something else.

Floyd turns to me. "We need to go now." Almost a panic in his voice ….and it makes my stomach muscles clench in fear.

-o-o-o-

Hotchner and the Doc together….maybe a good time…but I don't like the look of the dude they are with…he looks spiteful…he looks like he will go down fighting…rather than negotiate and talk…and we want someone who is going to talk. I don't think the third guy is Fed either. Just one more body….we can wait.

I don't know what is going on now…They're at this hospital…and they don't look happy…visiting someone? I don't know...they don't look ill.

I will wait.

I will wait until they come out again. There is no great hurry. I can bide my time. I check my pistol and smile at the guy I am with…and wide down my window and pass hand signals to another car and their lights flash back to let me know they understood.

All good.

All very good.

We can wait.

-o-o-o-

They need to talk to Spencer alone so I have to sit with Hotchner and wait. I don't like it. I don't like him being out of my sight. I don't know what they are doing…I don't know what he is saying…He needs me there…

"Sit down."

Hotchner snaps at me. I turn and look at him. "How long has he been in there?"

He glances at his watch. "Fifteen minutes. They said he would be a few hours." So I look at this Fed and at the door they took Spencer through…and I didn't like the way he was reacting to things…Damn…I need a drink.

"I need a drink." I tell him. "And a smoke." I walk towards the door. "If he comes out before I'm back …you wait."

Hotchner looks over at me and he looks tired and worried but he nods. "I will wait." That was all I needed…my excuse to get the hell out of here and over the road.

It's a small rough bar but it sells whiskey so I don't really care about the stickiness and grim about the place. A juke box is playing some crap Elvis shit and a group of olds are playing cards. Not much else going on…but something feels wrong. Something is just not right…and I put it down to my worry over Spencer. What the hell is going on over there? I've had five doubles and my eyes are going fuzzy and I need a piss.

"Men's room?" I ask the barkeep who points me out of a door going out back.

"Outside around the back."

So I rub at my eyes and make my way out there…The bloody walls are moving and keep smacking me in the shoulder. I tell them to fuck off but they don't listen to me. The door opens inwards which caused a problem when I trying pushing it…but eventually I am outside and I'm not sure which direction I need to go….so I turn right and think about just pissing on the wall…but I can see the doorway with RestRooms painted above the door….bloody rough place…but I stagger in that direction…I need water on my face…and I need to pull myself together…Spencer will need me. This door pushes open into a small room…only two small doors lead to the stalls and a washbasin is on the wall…I go here first…I need to clear my head. I push the plug into place and watch the bowl fill with water. Then off with the taps…and my hair is tied back…so I can place a hand either side of the bowl and dip my face into the water.

This is the reason I didn't see it coming. I heard nothing…I sensed nothing until I felt the hand on the back of my head and my face pushed deeper down…faintly in the background I could hear noises…bangings and shouts but I'm too busy now trying to twist around and get out of the fucking water….I wont drown… Someone is going to die….and it won't be me. I kick out backwards but whoever it is holding me gets out of the way. Now the hand is pulling me out of the water and spinning me around…my vision doubly fucked now as the alcohol is not letting me see properly and now I have water dripping in my eyes.

My hands come up to fend off the attack but there are a few of them….and they have fucking guns…and one of those guns is pressed against the side of my head and another is smashing me across the mouth.

"Stand still or you are dead." Someone snarls at me…and frankly I don't know what the fuck is going on. I move a hand to wipe away the blood from my mouth were the weapon split my lip but I'm told to lace my fingers behind my head and get on my knees.

"Who the fuck are you?" I ask and I hear the click of the gun jabbing at my face.

"Shut up and do as you are told." I try to see how many of them there are…a few…all my brain will let me know is there are a few. Metabolise you bitch of a body…my head is telling me…but they are pushing me down onto my knees…and a gun is now pressed against the back of my head.

"Can you hear me?" Someone asks…

"Yes." I snap back…I was thinking this was a robbery…then I was thinking it was a rape…now I don't know what the fuck this is….my head is too confused to figure it all out.

"Who are you?"

What sort of a question is that? "What?"

"How do you know Hotchner and Reid?" And the gun is pressed hard against the back of my neck.

"What? Who?" Shit shit fuck…what the hell is going on?

"You don't know them?"

"Look…we can talk about this…what do you want?"

"Do you know them?"

"No." I lie

"Kill him." I hear the words and I open my mouth to protest but the bullet enters the back of my head and comes out between my eyes taking the front of my skull off with it. I carry on kneeling on the floor for a short while…my hands drop to my sides and I just look at my brains on the men's room floor and think '_Well shit….This is why you shouldn't drink.'_ I feel them push me down and in an odd distant way I feel the splat as my body falls into what used to live inside my head. They drag me a short way…but everything is going dark now and I can't see very much. I can sort of feel hands on me as I am lifted then sat down….I think…maybe it is a thought…that they are sitting me on the john…I cant hear though…sound seems to be gone now….and the lights are out…I can feel….I can feel stuff dripping from the front of my head onto my lap and I think I might have pissed myself. Not fear….just the body closing down….and I can't let it. I am still breathing…just about…and I can feel….something…they are doing something to me…tying me to the seat so I don't fall off.

And now there is nothing. A complete and total nothing…and I count in my mind? To myself quietly…I count and feel my heart beating and thumping and I am drip, drip, dripping all over the place.

-o-o-o-

He has been gone hours…they both have…and I have no worries that Flanders didn't return. It really doesn't surprise me and I am glad…his true colours shining through today. Spencer though I am worried about. I have drunk coffee….I have paced back and forth. I have done a cross word puzzle and read a book on gardening from cover to cover and now I am pacing again.

"Dr Reid?" Someone says and I spin around.

"I'm with Reid." I say and walk towards him…wondering briefly where the hell Flanders is but the thoughts go from my head when I see Spencer walking through the door. He is deathly pale. I've not seen him look this ill in a long time. "Spencer?" I move quickly towards him. "Are you alright?" He looks up at me and frowns and nods and goes to sit down.

"You are Flanders?" I am asked….and so I shake my head.

"Hotchner." And the doctor nods at me and says.

"If you come with me I will show you what we have found out." And I look back at Spencer who is sitting just staring at the wall.

The room I was taken to was just a square white room with a desk and some chairs….I'm asked to take a seat and I do….thought I would rather be on my feet pacing…I don't like having to sit. Not in situations like this. I don't feel so in control somehow.

But I sit and I listen…

The words are refusing to sink in. I don't want to listen to them and my head is trying to play music over the top of it…it is that or I just scream.

"He will experience memory loss and confusion." La la lalalal la lalaaaaa……no no

"NO!" I am on my feet. "We need a second opinion." I am pacing.

"I understand your distress Agent Hotchner…this is distressing news for you I am sure."

I turn to him. "I want to see the scans."

-o-o-o-

I'm not sure why I am here.

I don't really know what is going on…and I don't know where Floyd is.

I get up…and I wobble but I manage to make it to the reception desk…

"Excuse me." My voice is shaky. "I arrived with two gentlemen. Do you know where they went…one of them went …I've….." And I can't remember what I was saying.

"Yes sir…one of them is with the doctors and the other left a while ago."

I look at her and I think I frown and then I walk back to where I was sitting….Floyd left? He will be waiting down stairs….he wouldn't just go and so I get up again and walk in a zigzag line back to the desk. "C can you – you tell….him…can you tell him." I sigh and look at her. "I'll wait out – out outside."

I go down in the elevator. My head feels wrong…I don't know what is going on. The doctor didn't tell me…just that 'not to worry too much' and he want to talk to Floyd. I told them…I told them that Floyd was my partner…I think he is…it is becoming foggy now. I'm not so sure. I'm no so sure of anything. The bright sunlight out the front of the hospital is hurting my eyes…I squint and look around and I can see Hotch's car in the distance…I can see the heat rising off it…But I cant see Floyd. Maybe he is inside it…but it is such a long way off and I am feeling too light headed. Along the front of the building are flowerbeds…they are not terribly well tended but there is a bench I can sit on and wait for Floyd and Aaron. So I meander my way over there and sit down heavily. Everything seems like such an effort today…even thinking is hard…

Closing my eyes tightly I put my hands on my knees and just sit in the sunshine.

"Dr Reid?" I look up and see someone standing next to me. I don't answer him I just carry on looking at him.

"Are you alone?"

This voice comes from the other side of me and as I turn to look and ready myself to get up they grab my arms and 'escort' me towards a van.

"G get off me!" I try to pull away…I try to get attention…I try for a short while until I feel something hit the back of my head and everything goes dark.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6 Flies

Flies

* * *

"Someone get me the fuck out of here!"

I shout it but I don't think anyone can hear me through all these bloody layers of plastic and sodding tape.

Screaming directly into dad's head doesn't seem to work either…I dunno…he's turned off the connection, or some other shit is going on. Maybe my head's not healed enough yet….you bastard dad…you said…you said I could have him! And I will…I'll eat your less diseased parts first then I'll bloody well have you lover too…

-o-o-o-

I leave the doctors office in a stunned state of horrified pain. Pain for Spencer. I expected him to still be sitting on the chair and it takes a small while for my brain to adapt and force me to see that he's not there.

I look over at the woman at the reception who is head down clattering out something on the computer keyboard. I walk slowly over. I feel sick. I feel so sick and my head is pounding again. I don't know if it through shock of what I have just found out or if it is as Flanders predicted. I dab at my nose with the tips of my fingers wondering if a nose bleed will follow.

"Excuse me miss. There was a young man here."

She looks up at me and nods. "He went to look for his other friend. About half an hour ago."

I look over at the chair again wanting my mind just this once to be confused and see him there, but he has gone. I mutter a "Thank you." And make my way to the elevator and each step I take makes me fell like I am taking a step closer to the reality. I will tell him what I was told. I will – no I might – I will consider telling Flanders. I just don't know how I am going to tell Reid he has a brain tumour.

I put my hands on the cold surface of the wall next to the elevator doors and wait for them to slide open.

The journey to the ground floor seems to take forever. I just want to get out there and find him and … and hold him. I want to embrace him and hold him against me. This isn't what I was expecting. I was expecting stress. I wanted it to be stress. I wanted him to take a week off work and come back happy and relaxed, but that's not going to happen…that's never going to happen. The doors slide open again and I step out into the lobby. It's not a very large area and I can easily see that Spencer isn't here. With a sigh I start to walk to the exit doors…but I can feel that slow trickle of wetness under my nose and now I know I have a nose bleed. I quickly pull tissues from my pocket and hold them in place. I don't want blood on my clothing.

Stepping out into the sunshine I can see my car still parked up…and I can see there is no Spencer or Flanders there. I go towards it anyway. There might me a message for me there. There is always that chance…and as I walk I check to make sure Spencer isn't out here somewhere. Still I cannot see him and there is no message written on a scrap of paper or anything else stuck up under the wipers…so I have to assume there never was. Now I look around and wonder where they might be. They will be together somewhere. Flanders taking over the role of comforter again, but he doesn't know what the problem really is. I don't think he knows….maybe he does. Maybe that is why he didn't hang around. He knew what the outcome of this visit would be.

I look across the road to the run down bar and start to make my way over to it. I still look out to see if I can see Spencer anywhere and I cant I will check the bar out and then I will call him on his cell. They can't be far on foot. Unless they got a cab.

"Damn you Flanders." I mutter to myself as I walk across the street. It's not busy. It's easy to cross but it still bothers me that Spencer in his condition right now crossed this street alone. Unless Flanders met him outside the hospital. I really have no way of telling right now. I stuff the bloodied tissues into my pocket and look back across the street towards the hospital grounds. Please let me see Spencer there, but I don't.

Back then towards the bar and I push open the doors and enter the gloomy smelly hole of a place. At first glance I can't see either of them so I step up to the bar and wait for the bar man to come to serve me.

"I am looking for someone." I tell him. I then describe Flanders and wait. I don't have my FBI credentials on me so all I have to show him is a bill with a big number written on it. He takes the bill from my hand and nods.

"He was here, but he left a long time ago. He'd been drinking rather a lot."

"Was he with someone? Taller, young, sick looking."

"Nope." And he starts to walk away.

"Are you sure?" I carry on my description and he turns back and looks at me.

"Very sure. He was alone. Left by the back doors."

I would have liked more information for my money but this is all there is to get….so I leave also…but the back doors. I pull the door open and look out onto a scruffy back yard. I can smell the over powering stench of urine. I can see where people relieve themselves against the wall out here and I am glad that my sense of smell is impaired slightly at the moment. This place is disgusting. I can see a short distance away a doorway and so I go to investigate. It is the door leading to the restrooms, but when I try the door it is locked. Probably why it stinks so much out here. I look around and can see no sign of Flanders or Reid and so turn and walk back again, down a side alley way and out to the main road again, and so once more I am facing the hospital. Nothing. Neither of them are here. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and speed dial Spencer's cell. It goes straight to voice mail. I frown and call the house…but that is unanswered too, but that means nothing. Or it means everything. I don't know. I do know that I have to get to Spencer's apartment and see if Flanders has taken him home. That is the only result I want from this. It is the only acceptable reason that they are both missing when Flanders was obviously worried about Reid…in his own sick way.

So I cross back over and get in the car. Again I am hoping to find a note somehow on the vehicle, but there is nothing.

"Damnit." I curse under my breath and pull out of the parking lot towards Spencer's home.

-o-o-o-

I don't know how long I have been awake. My eyes have been closed. I've not attempted to open them yet. I need to firstly try to remember….remember….things. I don't know what things I am trying to remember though. This is the problem. I just seem to be empty.

I am sitting on a chair. A hard wooden chair and my upper body seems to be restrained somehow so I can't move. My arms are pinned to my side. I want to move my legs but they too are held still…I think by my ankles to the chair.

There are people here with me. I can hear them talking but they are not talking to me. So now…finally I open my eyes.

I don't know this place.

I don't know where I am.

I don't know these people but they have seen my movement as I turn my head to look around me and they regroup themselves and walk towards me.

I blink as the stand in a jagged row in front of me. One of them slightly more forward than the other five.

"Dr Reid." He says to me…and I just look back. "Nice of you to finally wake up. Can I get you something? A drink of water maybe?" And I carry on just looking back at them. I try to assess this situation which doesn't look very good. They know who I am. They chose me and I don't know why. I can see they are all armed with side arms and I can see that one of them is holding a wooden baseball bat. I blink at him and then look back at the guy who was talking to me. I lick my lips but I don't talk to them.

"We want to talk to you about a case you have been working on." He says to me. I remain silent. "We need to know what information that genius head of yours is holding." I want to tell them…I really want to tell them that I have no idea what they are talking about but I must stay silent. My silence will be more productive. My silence is all I can offer.

"Dr Reid." He is looking at me so I have to assume he is talking to me. "You remember the case you have been working on?"

I don't.

I remember nothing. So telling them nothing is going to be easy.

He turns to the guy with the baseball bat and smiles. "I think he needs reminding." And they all step back and one person steps forwards. I can't get away. I can do nothing but sit taped to the chair and take it. The bat hits me in the abdomen and I let out a yelp of pain. It hurts. It hurts a lot but I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of knowing how much. A little is unavoidable…as the bat knocks the wind out of my lungs and I am gasping for breath which is refusing to be drawn in. My eyes are watering and I feel I might be sick, but I can't tell them what I don't know and I can't tell them I don't know. I have to keep them needing me until I am found or they let me go, or I escape. Right now none of those options seem likely.

The next smack takes me to the side with such force that the chair I am attached to over balances. I have flashbacks now of when I died in Hankel's cabin and as my head hits the concrete floor I cry out in panic and pain. I feel my head impact with the floor and rebound and hit it again. I feel the skin split on the side of my head and I feel the sudden rush of blood. I try to take deep breaths. This is not the first time I have been beaten. I know that much. I am having all sorts of images sliding across my memory and out of the other side before I can grasp them and keep them in place.

They pull the chair up off the floor and they stand there looking at me.

"Dr Reid." He says again. "Do you remember the case you have been working on now?"

I feel blood running down the side of my head and down my neck. I want to reach up and feel the damage which has been done. I want to touch my ribs too and check for damage. Pulling in a deep shuddering breath I sit and look around me. I have no idea what they are talking about.

There is blood.

I can see it.

Over and over I can see it.

I can hear shouts…I can smell it. I can smell death…but it's not mine.

"Who – who did you k kill?" I mumble to them and in response I get laughter.

And the laughter sounds as though it is coming from underwater and the room gets too bright and then dims, and the guys are looking at me but I can't see their features as their faces explode and re-grow and explode and drip blood and I can hear flies…hundreds of flies. Somewhere.

-o-o-o-

Flies.

They are crawling in my head and laying eggs.

I tell them to fuck off and lay eggs somewhere else but my brains, what is left of them seem to be what they want.

Munch munch….

Something is eating at me.

I can't see what it is but I think it might be a rat.

Try kicking it away then Floyd…I say this to myself, but I can't move. It doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts anymore when your brains are gone. Just someone find me. Find me soon. I need to hibernate. I need to grow back. I can feel it itching and itching and tickling and itching like fuck. I need to slide my fingers into the hole they made in my face and scratch at that itch. I know it's where it's growing back, but that doesn't make the experience any nicer and if that rat bites my manhood I am going to kill it a all of its brothers and fucking sisters and cousins and eat its kids for fucking lunch. Been a while since I've had roasted rat on a stick. Or cat. Or dog. I need to – I need to do that for Spencer.

-o-o-o-

Again I have run up the stairs two at a time…again I have hammered on the door…and again I am contemplating letting myself in. This time I do.

So now I am standing in the hallway of Spencer's apartment and I am anxious about what I am going to discover. I wasn't away long. He couldn't have done too much damage in that time but that smell is still here and it has intensified not lessened and now I can hear something too. A low humming…and a slight buzzing. It sounds like insects. I check the rooms out quickly but it is quick to see that they haven't been back. It is as we left it earlier…and sitting there on the table is Spencer's cell phone. I don't touch it. I just stand and look at it for a while and curse inwardly. How the hell are we going to find them now?

I turn back to look down the hallway and at the buckets of dirty water and wonder if that is where the smell is coming from. I can at least get rid of that. So I go back and grab a bucket handle in each hand and lift them. I manage to get to the bathroom without slopping it everywhere, but I can tell as I pour the mucky contents down the toilet than this isn't where the smell is coming from. This smells of cleaning fluids and a sharper nose than mine would probably pick out the tang of the blood too, but my sense of smell is still not that good.

Good enough to be alerted to this other odour though.

Now I am bucket free and standing outside the cupboard door. There is something wrong. I can feel it…I can smell it…and now I can hear it too. I run my fingers slowly over the door and realise that there is tape across the catch. It looks fairly new. I don't know what is in there that Spencer would keep from everyone but I am going to look. I run my fingernail over the edge of the tape and snag a bit carefully and then pull slowly. I am half expecting the door to suddenly burst open but with the tape gone the door is still held shut but the catch. I again run my finger tips over the door. I know there is something wrong and now I take a deep breath and twist the catch and open the door.

I take a step back and put my hand over my mouth and nose. I think for a minute I am going to vomit on the floor. The smell is so foul. Not decomp…I might have been prepared for that. I don't know what the hell this smell is. A fresh kill. That's what it is.

Not the smell of rotting…but the smell you would get if you entered a room where a dozen people have just been slain. Only this is a cupboard in the apartment of one of my team members. There is a cord hanging down and when I pull it a light flickers and then comes on. The buzzing sound is from flies. I swat at them with my hand and start to pull things out of way in an attempt to get at what the hell is in there. I drag boxes away and there it is.

At first my brain ignores it. It really cannot be what I am looking at. A body wrapped in clear plastic and tape stuffed in the back of Spencer's cupboard…and my stomach flips and I want to cry and scream.

"My good god. He killed him." I mutter and reach out for the well wrapped body and pull it out onto the hallway floor.

Now I stand and just look at it and it stares back at me. There is so much blood and mess inside that plastic roll and my heart is pounding and my brain is refusing to let me think.

So when it blinks at me...

When the body licks its lips...

It takes a while for that information to be processed.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7 Something Wrong

Something Wrong

* * *

 They have put something over my eyes so I can't see.

I know it is a trick to spook me.

It's working.

I lick my lips and take just small shallow breaths. My stomach hurts but the side of my head doesn't. It just feels sort of tight and uncomfortable. I move my head and can feel the sticky blood which has dried a bit on the side of my neck crack and again I get sudden flash images of the time I spent with Henkal.

A hand suddenly grabs me under my chin and forces my head back. I can feel the hands are hard and strong and my stomach heaves in a small panic.

"Are you ready to talk to us now?"

And I lick my lips. "I don't know anything." I say so softly I hope they don't hear me.

"You are Dr Reid?" The hand squeezes tighter.

"Yes." I should stay silent…I should keep my mouth shut…Keep quiet Spencer!

"Then you know."

But I don't. I remember nothing. I don't even know if there has ever been anything there _to _remember. I try to dislodge the thing from my eyes but the hand is holding me too tightly.

"I am surprised. I thought you would be easy to break. With your background."

I still don't know what he is talking about but it makes my stomach flip with anxiety. What background is he talking about?

"I think we need to loosen his tongue a bit boys." I hear movement and I feel the chair tipping backwards. I know I let out a small sound of panic as I expect my head to make contact with the floor again but this time they lower me down gently.

"I've got them."

Another voice…got what? What have they got?

"Are you feeling thirsty? Hungry? I'm sure you must be Dr Reid."

"No." I whisper back at them. Now laying on the floor and still tied to the chair I have no idea what these people want or what they have planned. They want information…but I don't have information…I have nothing…I am only trusting that my name is Dr Reid because they keep saying it is.

The hand is back on my face again and this time the fingers pinch and press and force my mouth open. I don't like where this might be going and I twist and turn my head to try to stop it. The kick in the side of my head sends stars through my blacked out vision and I can taste blood in my mouth. As I try to pull myself back to my senses the hand is on my jaw again.

"Open your fucking mouth Fed."

I open it to spit out the blood forming in my mouth from the skin split on my inner cheek from where my teeth dug in when I was kicked. As I open my lips I feel something being pushed into my mouth.

Something wriggling…and again I want to spit and I want to scream but they are wrapping what feels like plastic wrap around my lower face. My nose is still free from obstructions but I am – I know…oh god …oh god…what it is?

"A couple or roaches." I am told. I didn't even have to ask. "Chew and swallow. Then think about if you want to talk to us or not."

But I cant.

I cant chew. I can feel them crawling around in my mouth. I can feel them walking in the blood still oozing from the side of my face and again I start to panic and thrash in my bonds. No one stops me this time. They don't hold me still. They let me try to pull my arms out and fail. They let me try to kick and no succeed. They watch…I assume as my breathing becomes more difficult as I try to take air down through my nose and creature walk around in my mouth and the contents of my stomach crawls its way up into the back of my throat.

I cant breathe.

The creatures are moving around and I am keeping my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth in an attempt to keep it out of the way of them…but they are crawling back.

I really cant breathe.

They are making their way back…and my mouth is filling with vomit and there is no where for it to go and now I am coughing and choking and I have puke pouring out of my nose and I have no idea where the creatures have gone…so I try to bite through the plastic wrap and something crunches….something squelches….

And I stop breathing.

And I can hear my heart pounding in my chest as I lay on the floor or a dirty disused warehouse and choke on my vomit.

The pain is incredible.

The pain in my head as my air supply is suddenly cut off. The pain in my chest from my panicking racing heart.

And I still don't know what it is they want.

-o-o-o-

I stand for a second or two in shocked silence before I am on my knees ripping at the plastic. He did a good job of it. The tape has held it secure. The amount of blood is horrendous. I have no idea how this person can still be alive. He is still just laying there but his eyes not only blink but they follow where I am going now. He is watching everything I am doing. I see his lick his lips again and there is something oddly familiar about him, but I cant place what it is. The dark eyes and hair and almost feminine features…but still definitely a boy. A teenage boy I would judge. I can see his fingers flexing and the tongue darting over his lips but he doesn't move his arms or legs, and he doesn't talk.

"Can you hear me?" I say to him, but my reply is just those strange eyes blinking at me.

"I am a Federal agent." I tell him. "I will call you an ambulance."

And now a hand darts out and grabs my arm. I feel the small slender fingers tighten around my wrist and I look at his face. He is mouthing a word 'no'.

"You need medical attention." I look down at the fingers which are squeezing harder now.

"No"

And this time I hear it properly.

Carefully I pull the remaining plastic away from him and my stomach does a lurch when a hammer covered in blood and dark hair appears closely followed by a long bladed knife. I find it hard to believe that Spencer would do something like this and conflicting images are flying through my head. If this was Reid's attacker I should be arresting him. But he is a child and I am finding it hard to believe that Spencer caused this damage. It seems far more likely that it was Flanders. Then again Spencer admitted bringing someone home with him.

I slide my hands under the boy's arms and pull him up out of the muck he is laying in. The movement of the boy releases more smells that make me want to gag. He is covered in blood and other bodily fluids and it makes me want to recoil again and drop him to the floor. Even on a freshly killed person I've never experienced such an intolerable stink! I am thinking it unwise to place him on the couch and so I lay him down carefully and gently on the floor. He is in filthy dungarees and a pale blue shirt but they are both filth and blood encrusted. He lays on the floor his fingers twitching at his sides and his eyes flickering around the room. I can see clearly two knife wounds to his chest but there seems to be damage to his head as well.

"I'm sorry. I really need to call someone."

"I said no." And the flicking eyes rest on my and the hands moves up slowly again and touches me. "I will be fine."

How can he say he will be fine? How is he even alive…he was wrapped in plastic. I have no idea how he had been able to breathe. "Do you remember who did this to you? I ask him pushing dark damp hair off his pretty face."

"I'm thirsty." Is his reply.

I crouch from where I am kneeling. "I'm Aaron. What can I call you?"

He shakes his head slightly and as he does a tiny trickle of blood escapes from his nose. "Sam." And with shaking pale fingers he wipes he blood off from around his nose. "I am thirsty." He tells me again. I get up quickly and walk backwards for a short distance just looking at this person on Reid's floor…and I still don't know how he got here, or why he is here, but now he needs a drink. I will get him water and then ask him again who did this to him.

"Don't try to move." I instruct. "I will be right back." I know Spencer keeps bottles of water in his kitchen and this is where I am heading for and as I pass the cupboard door I am reminded of the buckets that Flanders had placed in front of it and of all the blood he had been cleaning up, and of something he had been doing in the bathroom and I have no doubts in my mind that Flanders brought this child here and killed him. Thought he had killed him anyway. I grab the water quickly and return to the lounge.

Sam has moved. He is now on his front and is trying to get to his knees and I can see the damage to the back of his head. A huge bloody dent is in the back of his head. I cant not call someone. I can see he will keel over and die, but I need to find out what the hell happened first and suddenly I remember that I am looking for Spencer.

I touch him gently on the shoulder. "You should keep still and I really do need to call someone. You need a medic to look at your injuries. I can see the blood all over his back too now where the knife it seemed entered between his shoulder blades. "Sam." I grasp him under his shoulders and pull him up so he can sit, and slide him over the wooden flooring until he is backed up against the couch. I open the water and pass him the bottle. "Do you need any help?" I ask as I pull my cell out of my pocket.

"I'm going to be fine. I don't need the fucking medics." A hand slaps at mine as the other lifts the drink to his mouth.

"I need you to tell me what happened. Who did this to you?"

He says nothing as he swigs back the water but his eyes never leave me. I reach out my hand again and gently touch his arm.

"You have a choice. You tell me what happened here or I will call in the police and the medics. I can see you don't want me to do that so you had better start explaining why."

He pulls his legs up and crosses them and places the bottle of water on the floor next to him. "You don't need to know." He swallows and pulls his hand away from mine. "It was a misunderstanding."

"Sam you have been stabbed and it looks like you've been hit with that hammer." I gesture back at the weapons on the floor. "How is that a misunderstanding…and if it was concealing you in that manner was not."

"No, no. That's not what I meant." He licks his lips and glances around the room. "Is he here?"

"Is who here?" I am watching him closely. He seems to be recovering remarkably quickly.

"My dad. Is Floyd here?"

"Floyd is you father?" And obviously I can see it now. There is no doubt but now I wonder again who did this to him. "Can you remember what happened?"

er

He picks up the water bottle and fiddles with it. "I came here to fuck Spencer. He told me I could but then changed his mind."

"Pardon." I was sure I heard incorrectly.

"He was my payment for a job done but dad changed his mind and stuck me with a knife a couple of times. Yes it's fine for him to beat up on the freak but when it's my turn to get down then he gets all jealous like a fucking girl and wont share."

"I'm not sure I understand what you are saying. You came here to have sex with Spencer?"

"He is my dad's whore. It was my payment." He leans forward and prods me with his bony finger. "And you too Hotchner, you owe me one too."

And my stomach tightens because I didn't tell this odd child my name was Hotchner, so he must know me. "How old are you?" I ask him a simple question as my head spins and tries to find the right things to ask him.

"I'm older than I look. Sixteen if you want, but it's not really a very accurate figure for someone like me. I'm not really that well connected with the time lines."

He smiles at me and my god it could be his father sitting there. "Who hit you with the hammer?"

"Daddy. He wrapped me up too. But he loves me. Where is he? He was just teaching me a lesson in greed and lust." The water is put down again. "He is a greedy lustful bastard. A lesson well taught and it will be remembered. Where is he?"

I shake my head. "I don't know."

-o-o-o-

Finally.

I can move slightly.

And at last I can bring my hand up and slide my fingers into the shattered remains of the top half of my head and scratch that fucking bastard of an itch. I can feel things crawling around in there too and I pluck some of them out. It feels so good to be able to do this at last. There doesn't seem to be a lot of grow back yet so I start to scrape out the crap still in there being careful to avoid the eyes which are dimly and foggily coming back to life. I still cant hear much and I still cant move my legs, but it will come eventually. My biggest worry is though who the hell these people where and why they asked what they did. Was it Spencer they were after?

I swipe a creature off of me which was crawling across my urine sodden lap. I am sort of surprised that no one has found me yet but also kinda glad. I don't want to be found with no brain. They might suspect something is wrong! HAHA!

So for now I clean out my skull. Once done things will grow back faster.

It's a hell of a job.

……………….But ……………….,

Quite enjoyable.

-o-o-o-

I am laying on my side. The tape which had been holding me to the chair has been removed and so has the wrap they had around my mouth. I have been sick. Very sick…and I am curled up on the floor laying in my vomit. My eyes are closed and my throat hurts where I have been sick over and over again. I can feel also that my eyes have been watering....they feel swollen and sore.

Obviously I have been sleeping or something because my sudden alertness brings the voices back towards me and I slowly open my eyes.

"Get up." I am ordered, and slowly I roll to my front and push up to my hands and knees.

"Who are you?" I say, but my voice cracks and sound scared and pathetic and I wish I'd not said anything. Again I am reminded not keep my mouth shut. I look around for something to pull myself up onto but there is nothing and they are not going to help me so slowly I stand. For a minute I think I am going to fall straight back down again, but I manage to stay up right, but swaying slightly.

"Dr Reid."

The voice I remember and I turn my head slowly to look at him. As I turn the room rushes by me much too fast and for a horrible moment it feels like the floor is coming up to meet me but someone grabs me and holds me upright.

"I wonder if you are willing to talk to us now."

So I close my eyes and look downwards at the floor. I have nothing to tell them. Absolutely nothing. I have odd flashes going on, but nothing I can tell them. I know have two people holding me upright and the voice is right in front of me.

"You are doing yourself a disservice by refusing to talk to me."

I keep my head down.

"I thought that with all your father put you through you would be the easy one. This is a surprise. Not a bad one. I'm rather enjoying this game. What about you? Do you like the company you are keeping.?"

I look up at him but still don't say anything. My concern being that if they realise I know nothing they will just kill me and go and get Hotch. What I need to do is stay silent. Someone will find me. He doesn't use a weapon which is probably lucky in a way, but hit fist to my stomach still winds me. I want to bend double and I cry out in shock as the air is pummelled from my body but they keep me up right and in place for the uppercut to my chin. I feel my head crack back…I feel my neck being forced at an angle it doesn't like and again I hear my voice yelping out. I don't want to …I want to keep quiet but I cant.

They keep me standing in place and the well practiced boot to the groin causes the world to darken and I need to curl up and take away some of the pain.

"Are you ready to talk?"

But even if I was I wouldn't be able to now.

So they let go of me and let me fall to the floor where I start to curl up and defend myself.

I feel the boots connecting with my ribs…and with the back of my head…and with my spine.

The last thing I feel right then is the cold floor below my head and a boot stamping down on the side of my face.

-o-o-o-

"Something is wrong with my dad." I can feel it. "Something has happened. He's been shot. I need to find him"

-o-o-o-

Something is wrong with Spence. He is being hurt. I can feel it. "Sam." I manage to say. "Come get me Sam."

* * *


	8. Chapter 8 Getting to Know Sam

Getting to Know Sam

* * *

They are holding me down on the floor on my back. They have hold of my arms and legs and I have tried kicking and wriggling but really it is better if I keep still. I can't see properly. Something had gone wrong with my vision. I don't know if it is the headaches and memory thing…a connection to that, or if it is where they stamped on me, but I cant focus and I seem to have developed nystagmus so just trying to look at what is going on is making me feel ill.

I try to take long deep breaths and I try to keep my mouth firmly closed.

There is the sour smell of my stomach contents drifting up my nose reminding me of what they put in my mouth and the thought of it…just the reminding sends my stomach into pitiful cramps as it tries to expel what small amount of food there is still there.

"Dr Reid."

I want to look at him and show him I won't be intimidated by this treatment but I think if I open my eyes I will lose my battle with my stomach so I keep my eyes closed and suck on my bottom lip quickly. I can feel the sick and blood drying on the side of my face and in my hair and the whole of my body feels damp with sweat.

A foot rests gently against my groin and I bite on my lip trying to prepare myself for what I know is going to come.

I am just grateful that I don't know what they want to know…they can't break me for the information. I don't have it.

"Dr Reid, kindly answer my questions or I will have to use some gentle persuasion."

I would shake my head if there wasn't a foot either side of my head now standing on my hair, so I squeeze my eyes tighter and start to count. I concentrate on the numbers and in my head I have reached fifteen when he asks again.

"Talk to me Dr Reid. Tell me about the case you are working on."

I swallow back some bile and I can feel tears escaping from the corners of my eyes as I try to remember something which I don't even know was there in the first place. The feet on my hair move, pulling it and scraping against the gash on the side of my head.

"Tell me what you know Dr Reid."

And obviously I stay silent.

For a short while.

Until the booted foot leaves its resting place between my legs and I know for sure what is going to happen…I try to pull my arms free…I try to get my legs to kick out and I try to move as I squirm on the floor attempting to protect myself and stop what happens next but there is nothing I can do – except for open my mouth and scream…and I am sure that anyone with in a five mile radius would hear my scream which is suddenly cut short as something is again stuffed into my open mouth. A tube…

………I try to clench my teeth and stop it but my brain is getting swamped. It wants me to do something to protect myself and so my squirming continues as the foot is placed back between my legs.

I want to beg them to stop. I want to ask them to let me go but this thing is sliding down to the back of my throat now and no amount of biting is stopping it. I gag and heave as it presses against my throat and again I try to open my eyes and look at these people but I can't see them properly as my eyes flicker from side to side and my head spins and I snap my eyes shut again.

"Open your goddamned eyes boy!"

The words are accentuated by pressure from the foot and again I try to open them. I try to see what he is showing me wriggling between his fingers. It looks like maggots. Wriggling squirming maggots and I watch with difficulty as he takes one and slides it down the metal tube I have stuffed in my mouth. Now I am franticly trying to do anything to escape from them but the harder I resist them the more pressure is put on my all ready very tender parts.

"Are you going to tell me what I want?"

I use my tongue to try to push the tube away…to try to block it but there is absolutely nothing I can do as the first wriggling creature slides out of the tube and down the back of my throat. I am gagging and heaving again…stomach acid crawls up and into my mouth.

Though my eyes are open, I'm not seeing anything now. The revulsion of what they are feeding me has overwhelmed my senses and my brain is denying it. I know bigger things are there now. Bigger fatter maggots and grubs? Things with legs…crawling around and something is making it's way back up and into my nose…and so the sneezing starts and the vomit is laying at the back of my throat and I'm OK. I don't care if I die now. Actually please god let this be it…let them tire of me and just feed me insects until they kill me.

I don't even notice that the tube has been removed. I'm not able to pull myself back to 'now' until I feel suddenly that they have all let got of me. I manage to look up at someone who is smiling back down at me with teeth too big and white.

I feel something crawl out of my nose and I make a funny yelping sound and brush it away with my hand and then start spitting – Spitting out vomit and insects….I still don't know what they are…and I don't want to look too closely at what they are but something else is coming out of my nose now and I take in a sudden deep breath and flick it away…and then roll onto my side and just let it happen. Whatever is left in my stomach comes out fast and joins the little army of creatures crawling out of my nose and moving around my mouth, and making their way to my eyes and ears. I can feel it like little drops of something…as they drop more onto me. I wrap my arms around my head and pull my knees up close and listen to the laughing.

This I can cope with. This is nothing. I can deal with this and I will. They can't break me. I feel tears escaping from my eyes but it is from where things are trying to find their way under my eyelids.

And they are tickling their way into my ears.

And they are sitting on my lips and moving around my slightly open mouth feasting on the liquids I have expelled.

-o-o-o-

Hey Ho!

I'm not sure what is going on but I can't seem to be able to sit up anymore…

….I know they tied me on but the rope or whatever has slipped down to my waist so my upper body has nothing to hold it in place and I've flopped forwards. There is a coldness over my back where my clothing is untucked and exposed.

I don't have a headache. I have a tremendous skull itch and my eyes….my eyes feel like they might explode, but above all this I know something is going on with Spencer and not a good something either. Not even good in a sick sort of way I would enjoy watching. This is something else. I know he has been sick. I know he has been kicked.

Where the hell are you Hotchner!?

I need you.

Spencer needs you.

Sam – sunshine – time to wake.

I've tried untying the thing holding me in place here but my fingers are slippery with blood and bits of brain and other things from inside the hole in my head and my coordination is pretty much shot.

-o-o-o-

I watch as the boy slowly gets to his feet. "I need to shower" he tells me and starts a slow wobbly walk towards the bathroom. I move in and take his arm.

"Let me help you."

He gives me a side long curious look. "I can see why my dad likes you." He takes a few more steps. "I think you're a pathetic weak creep. But no accounting for taste when it comes to my dad."

"Your father doesn't like me." I tell him and feel as he rests slightly against me for a few seconds before carrying on. The smell coming from him is still quite disgusting but not quite as bad as it was.

"He does you know. He would have you too. He finds you quite desirable." He looks at me again. "Cant see why. You look like a boring old shit."

Sam, it would seem does not have the charisma that is father seems to have. I don't like Floyd. I detest him quite intensely, so I am not sure why this conversation is bothering me as much as it is. I don't know why my stomach is tightening…and I have no idea why I am just as worried about Floyd's disappearance and I am Spencer's.

"But then he likes that bitch too."

We are in the bathroom now and he is slowly stripping off his clothing.

"Who?" I ask.

"Emily. He's had her. Not now…not in this time. In another one. Yes he's had her. I'd like her too. I'm like dad in that way. I'll stick my cock in anything. Doesn't even have to be alive – or human."

It is times like this that I want to run and get Jack and protect him from the world and make sure he knows right from wrong. This boy who is standing in front of me stark naked covered in scars and with track marks up both arms…and god only knows what else…this boy has been 'raised' by a vile and evil man. I feel sorry for him. All he has known is Flanders. Though even he pales into insignificance compared to Sam.

"Get washed. I will see if there is anything you can change into."

"You're not joining me?" He looks disappointed.

I frown and shake my head. "Wash." I say again and watch as he shrugs and walks into the shower and turns on the water. I watch for a short while just to make sure he uses soap and I see the water running down his back and I get sudden images of him being Spencer and the urge to jump in there with him is quite powerful, so I quickly turn away and remind myself that not only is this a child, but also Flanders off spring.

I have a quick rummage through Spencer's things. I don't like doing this but the boy has to put something on. I find a plain white Tshirt and some sweat pants which look like that they will be too long for him but they will have to do. Having chosen the things though I remain in the bedroom. I don't want to go back to the bathroom with the boy in there naked. It feels wrong and I hate these feelings and I know they are false and so I close my eyes and there I can see Reid all wet with a towel around his middle, a hip bone showing all white and glistening with water and I bite on my bottom lip in an attempt to rid this unwanted image.

With a sigh I open my eyes to see Sam standing there wet and naked but clean. "Them for me?" He reaches out and takes the things from my hand. "Want me? Want me while I'm wet? You can blow me if you want a bit of this….."

"Sam….no. Please stop it. I don't want you. Get dressed. We need to find your father."

He is pulling the Tshirt over his head. "Give me a few years…when you're too old to pull in the little boys – then you will want me."

"No Sam I won't. Hurry up we need to find your father."

We left together. The messy plastic still on the floor. Sam's dirty clothes dropped in the basket in the bathroom. Wet towels just thrown down. I would come back and tidy it. Right now he had people to find and it was dark out.

I didn't realise that we had been so long but it was long past nine in the evening.

"Take me to where you last saw my dad." The boy commands.

So I let him in my car and he sits and pulls cigarettes out of his pocket and a plastic disposable lighter. "I don't want you smoking in the car." I tell him.

"You want me to help you?" And I nod slowly

"Then I smoke in your car." And he lights up.

I drive at a sensible speed. I want to jump all the lights and screech around the corners on two wheels but instead I grip the wheel until my knuckles are while and I feel the gentle sweat of panic form on my brow.

He puts rock music on and I turn it off again. "It's distracting." I tell him.

"Not as distracting as a dead Spencer." He tells me back. "You give me what I want Hotchner or you go alone." But I am pulling up in the hospital parking lot now and so it doesn't matter.

We stand next to the car and Sam looks over at me. "I'm not a shit hot at his as dad. He is the master tracker. I'm still learning."

I walk over to him and grab his arm. "Are you saying you can't find him?"

He looks at my hand on my arm and places his over the top. "No, no, not saying that. Just saying it might take me longer…don't get your knickers in a twist mate. Where exactly was he last seen?"

So I gesture over to the bar over the road. "He was having a drink in the bar. Left by the rear doors. That's all I know."

I show Sam the side alley way and he is straight on his hands and knees and his fingers are touching the ground and then he is licking them. I can see the concentration on his face. "Lots of people use this. Not dad."

"It's the only way out of the rear yard." And really that was to myself and the image of the locked men's room door makes a strange twisting happen in my stomach…and again I don't know why. "Sam I want you to wait here." I tell him. "I will call you if I need you."

"No – I'm coming too."

But I put out a hand and stop him. "No Sam you are waiting here. I will call you."

And this time he nods. "I'll have a smoke."

"Good idea." I tell him, though it's not, but it might keep him away while I find out why that men's room door is locked.

Before I go around the corner I check. Sam is leaning on the wall lighting up and now I run. The door I see is still secure and the smell in the back yard is even worse. I rattle at the door and it doesn't open so with a deep breath I put my shoulder to it. It pops open to reveal a very nasty grubby little men's room. There is filth on the floor and signs that someone has tried to clean something up, so carefully I put my fingers to the door off the stalls. The first swings open and what I see is a revolting toilet blocked and slightly over flowing. The next one is locked. I bend down, breathing as quietly as I can and peer under the door, and I know those feet. I know those boots. Flanders. The mess on the floor around him is what is even more alarming. He is surrounded by blood and muck and gore and god only knows what else.

Again I use my shoulder on the door and it pops open easily.

I don't like what I see.

"Oh my good god."

The man is clearly very dead.

-o-o-o-

I know something is wrong. I know it. Something is wrong with my dad. I stand away from the wall and look the direction Hotchner has gone and I'm gonna go see what the hell is going on. I take two steps before the thing winds around my neck. I kick and shout and try to get away but whoever it is…they have me…and they are carrying me away from where my dad is. I can feel the thing around my neck is cutting into me. I can feel I am bleeding and I try to shout but the world goes grey and my voice won't work now…and…and …shit…killed twice in twenty four hours.

Just not my lucky day is it?

* * *


	9. Chapter 9 Crunch Time

Crunch Time

* * *

I've been lying here for a while now.

The creatures are still crawling over me, but I think I have wiped most of them off. I try opening my eyes but I still can't see properly and the spinning room makes my stomach heave again and so I wipe at my eyes with my finger tips and close them again.

I am so tired. So very tired and now I am cold. The room is quiet but I know they are still here with me. Occasionally I will hear some whispered words into a cell phone…or the creaking of a door, but for now they are ignoring me. I know that the wall is about 10 foot away from me and so I decide to make my way there as quickly and quietly as I can.

Rolling onto my front and pushing up to my knees I dislodge things which had been resting in my hair and bits fall out onto the floor. I don't open my eyes more than a slight crack just to make sure I am facing the right way and carefully and as silently as I can I move. One hand… one knee.

One thing squelching and popping and oozing up between my fingers.

I want to scream out and get up and run but I don't. I carefully wipe my hand on my pants leg and then I move again.

One knee. Crunch. Oh god…..

One hand slither and pop….I am going to be sick.

Another knee…nothing, but my stomach and brain where expecting something and they still react.

My hand again, and something big moves under it…not an insect…a rodent. A mouse? Scrunching under the heel of my hand and something squirts up my arm and now I am on my feet and I am howling some unknown language of horror and wiping my hand on my clothes and with each step I take away from where I had been laying something else crunches and pops under me…

I can heard someone shouting and initially I thought it was me, but I stand as still as I can with things still dropping from my hair and someone is saying. "Get back down boy before I kick you down." I can't. I can't go back down there…I can't see what is there. There are things on the floor... there are things on me…I can feel them under my shirt on my back…over my chest…and in a panic I start to rip my shirt off so I can get to them.

"Get on the damned floor!"

I hear the words but I can't do it. I am too busy tearing the front of my shirt open…I can feel the buttons pop and ping off and I am about to pull it off when I hear it. A 'whooshing' sound and then something connects with the side of my face. A cane maybe…perhaps I am thinking it is a split cane…I feel it cut into the side of my face and the blood immediately starts to pour.

"Get back down." I am told…but down there…on the floor……..?

The word 'no' escapes my lips just before the cane connects with me again…this time across my brow. I take a step back to try to escape another attack…if I had been able to see before my vision would be very impaired by the blood pouring down my face.

I tread on something and it slides and pops and squelches under my foot as my balance goes and I can feel I am falling backwards onto the hard warehouse floor.

My head hits once.

Rebounds.

Hits again…………

And then nothing.

-o-o-o-

I really should have gloves on but I'm not in my work suit and so don't have all the little extras on me. I don't want the boy to see this. I just hope he doesn't decide to follow me.

For a full minute I just stand looking at him. It looks as though he has been tied to the toilet and then shot in the head but the wound I can see – a gaping raw dark hole above his eyes is the exit wound and so he was placed here afterwards. I step back and look around the small room again. The smears and marks on the floor now look like someone quickly cleaned up a horrible mess.

"My god." I mutter to my self. If someone has done this to Flanders, where the hell is Spencer…and what are they doing to him? I am assuming that this and Spencer not being around are connected…and them I have the horrible thought and image of Spencer doing this to him. The image makes my head spin and I feel another nose bleed coming on. Slowly I turn again and look at Flanders who is looking directly back at me. I look away again and wipe at my eyes with my fingers and then look back again. He is still looking at me.

"Help me." His voice is so quiet that maybe he didn't say anything but he is still looking at me.

He blinks.

And again for a while I am frozen to the spot. This cant be happening…I can see the hole in his head. I can see where brains and muck and blood and gore have been dripping on him and around him. He can't be alive. I wipe at the blood dripping for my nose and take a tentative step forwards. I put a hand out to touch him and find is hand moving up to meet it and I'm looking in a daze at this as his fingers wind around mine.

"What in hells name?"

"Don't try to make reason of it Hotchner. Untie me and help me out of here. Where's Spencer?"

I pull my hand away from his and look at the knots holding the rope in place. "I really was hoping you would tell me that." I start pulling at the rope. It is slimy with gunk which has come from Flanders head and my fingers are sliding on it. "I came out of the meeting with the doctor and you're still not back and Spencer was gone. I thought…." Still fiddling with the ropes… "I thought you had gone back to the apartment."

"Ah. No. Someone shot me in the back of the head." A pause. "Actually no – I was executed."

"Who?" And the rope finally came undone. "Did you know them? A chance thing? Was it something you started?"

"Help me up. I can't stand. I don't know who it was. Suits. Organized. They wanted you and Spencer. Not me."

I don't help him up though. The sudden flash of image of the boy in Spencer's cupboard came to mind. "And Sam? Where does he fit into all of this?"

"Help me up."

But I back off a bit first. "You need to tell me what happened with Sam first. He is outside. Shall I go and get him?"

"For the love of god Hotchner…help me up and we can find Spencer."

I watch his fingers move up now to the gap in his skull and touch around the edges. "Stop…Flanders…just stop." I step in and take his hands. "Fine I will help you, but you can't let your son see you like this."

"He wont. He's not out there."

I grab him under the arms and feel him rest himself against me. That head of his…sticky and broken and impossible is resting on my shoulder.

"I found him. He said you tried to kill him"

"Ah you had to be there at the time to fully understand the situation."

"He is your son."

"No – not really – well yes – my spawn." His hands grip hold of my upper arms. "I need somewhere dark and cold so I can heal. I can't help you like this."

"We need you…I need you to find Spencer." I am walking out of the building now into the evening air.

"I know…I know what we need to do. I know what I need to do. If you don't help me heal that tumour will kill him and it will be over. Trunk of your car. Hurry."

I half carry and half drag this stinking specimen down to the alley way. I can see where Sam has been smoking. I cannot see Sam.

"Where the hell is Sam?" I say to myself.

"They took him." I am told.

-o-o-o-

I am woken up again by a slap around the face. "Time to wake up Dr Reid."

I roll slightly to my side and peer up at the person talking to me. At last my eyes seem to have stopped flickering and I can almost focus.

"Get up. I have something to show you."

I put my hand to my forehead and can feel the way the skin is sliced. The blood has dried onto the skin around my eyes, but it has stopped bleeding now. They partially help me to my feet and drag me away from the mess I have been lying in for hours it would seem. I have dead things stuck to my clothing and to my face and hands. As I stagger forward I brush them away.

I have survived. They haven't killed me yet. They still think I have what they need and no, I'm not broken. Just shaken up. The room is fairly dark and thick shadows surround everything. They take me to the chair I was in earlier and push me down to sit. I don't protest. It feels good to sit. I feel sick and light headed and I can still feel things crawling over me…but I try to ignore it. My shirt is ripped open at the front. They don't restrain me. They just leave me sitting in my damp and filthy clothes.

"Dr Reid. We have asked you nicely. We have tried gentle persuasion. We have even got a bit spiteful with you but you're being very stubborn. I am wondering – do you remember the case you have been working on?"

They must know I'm not going to talk to them by now. I really don't think sitting me on a chair is going to help.

It is when the lights come on that my stomach hitches. "NO!" And I am getting to my feet – only to be pushed back down again.

They have someone tied to a support pillar in the warehouse. His arms are above his head so he is almost hanging by his wrists. He still has on a once white Tshirt but there is blood soaked into the back of it. He has his back to me and his head is slumped forwards. They have removed his pants. He must be conscious as he is standing…leaning on the pillar rather then handing by his hands.

"Tell me about the case you have been working on Dr Reid."

Someone walks forwards and jabs the boy with a stick. He grunts and takes a step sideways.

"Tell me about the case."

But I shake my head. I can't tell them what I don't know.

The first lash takes him across this back. I hear the boy yelp and his head comes up.

"Stop it!" And I am on my feet again.

"Sit down Reid. You are only making it worse for him." And I watch as the next lash with the cane takes him across the back of his legs. He howls in pain and steps to the side.

Again I am pushed down into the chair but now I am resisting. "Stop it! Leave him alone!" And I would have said more but as one guy thumps me in the kidneys another turns him around to face and I look up and he looks at me and licks his lips.

I sit. "Sam?"

Oh god…oh hell…if Sam is here where the hell is Floyd?

The next lash is across the boy's groin and he lifts his legs up so he is swinging by his arms trying to protect himself.

"Leave the boy alone!" I shout and try to get up again, but they are holding me down.

"Have you remembered the case you are on yet?"

I turn to face the guy in charge. "This wont work. You have no idea what you are dealing with. I'm not telling you a thing." I hiss at him.

And I hear the sound of the cane in the air and I hear the boy scream again.

"You have no idea Dr Reid. We have already eliminated your lover and now we are going to use this thing to get you to remember."

I look up at Sam again whose eyes are huge and wet and I know what he is, but right now he just looks like a child. "Let him go and I will tell you." They haven't killed Floyd though. They couldn't have killed Floyd. He will be here soon. Floyd won't allow someone to hurt his child like this. Very soon…he will be here and so I start to count in my head. And over the voice in my head I can hear a child screaming.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10 Dead

Dead

I don't care that I am screaming like a kid.

It hurts.

Where the hell is my dad?

Where the hell is that Hotchner bloke?

Just tell the fuckers what they want to know…you fucking bastard.

They are swiping me –

Across the back of my legs. I tried pulling my legs up but they thwacked my feet and so I put them down again. There is blood running down the back of my legs and dripping onto the floor under me and I'm tiptoe in a puddle of my own blood and over my screams I can hear him shouting at them to stop and I can hear them laughing.

Just tell them – you bastard they are going to kill me over some words you refuse to say?

Oh for the love of the plutonian gods of war! They are on my back now. Over and over and I am tough…not like some little kid but I don't seem to be standing now. I'm just handing by my wrists and the assault continues.

-o-o-o-

"I'll tell you!" I shout and I try to stand up again. There is something so eerie about Sam. He could be Floyd at that age and seeing the blood and hearing his screams is just – just.. "Just stop it before you kill him." This time my voice isn't much more than a whisper.

I don't know what I am going to tell them. I have no idea. I am just hoping that they will ask me questions and I can wing it. I get up off the chair and walk slowly over to Sam. I can smell his blood and it's making my stomach churn.

"Come back and sit down." I am told, but I ignore them. I need to check he is alright. I need him to know I am here. I need him to know – to know that I will protect him as his father does me.

I put a hand on his arm. "Sam." And I can hear he is crying and I can see the way he is swinging. I reach up and try I want to undo the knots holding his arms above his head.

"I said sit down!" The voice is there right behind me.

"Let me untie the boy first." I turn to look at him but the fist connects with the back of my head anyway and I stumble forward into the pillar. I put my hands out to balance myself and see Sam has been pushed to the side so that they can grab me again.

He cries out in pain again and I again try to turn to them. "Please." I say. "Let me get him down from there."

"You are in no position to make demands. Get back to your chair or that boy will feel pain he never thought possible. Now!"

"Chair." A simple word I understand but I cant. I have to protect Sam. I have to do for him what his father would. Where the hell is Floyd? Why isn't he here yet? So I stand with my back to Sam shielding him from these people.

"You wont get away with this." My false bravado is still holding up. The fear that they are doing this to Sam because of me is holding me together strangely.

"Unless you want the boy to go through the added agony of having his limbs broken you will sit."

"No. You will release him or I will tell you nothing." And I stand where I am and wonder how I am still managing to stand and talk.

Three of them I think…I think it is three of them grab hold of my arms and my hair and pull me away from Sam…I cant see what they are doing but I hear him screaming for a short while and then silence. "Now sit your ass back down there and talk."

Again I am sitting and looking up at Sam who is swinging gently from the ropes. I don't know what they did to him. I don't even know if he is still alive. I need to protect him. It is the only thing my brain seems to want to process right now. 'Protect Sam. Do anything to protect Sam.'

I blink up at the men standing around me and run my fingers through my hair pushing it out of the way. My face is in agony and blood encrusted. My body is bruised and battered but I'm not broken. "Ask me your questions." I mutter as I look again over at Sam. Floyd will never forgive me if something happens.

"How far are you?"

The question could mean anything. I have no idea how to answer this. "Er – not far." Is all I can think to say.

"So you know the location." A statement. Do we? I don't know. "No." and I give my head a quick shake and it makes my brain roll around in my head. I bite on my bottom lip to try to stop the sensation. I really don't want to be sick again.

A sudden unexpected slap across my face nearly knocked me off my chair. I know I let out a yelp…but it was of surprise rather than pain.

"That is a reminder not to fuck with us Dr Reid."

It has made my eyes water and reopened the gash on the side of my face. "I'm – I'm n n not." And now I don't sound so sure of myself or feel so in control. Not that I ever had any. I look over at Sam again.

"Keep checking on your lovers child I see. There is so much more we can do to him if you do not start to cooperate with us Dr Reid." He is pacing in front of me now.

"I know….I realise…I know that." But I want to shut up. I want to keep quiet again at least until I don't sound like a scared child anymore.

He turns to look at me. "Where is Markus?"

Who in gods name is Markus? I have no idea. "I don't know." Honest answer.

-o-o-o-

I have to let him sit down for a while whilst I get the trunk of the car open. I am still not quite believing what is going on here.

"Do you need anything?" I ask him. He looks dead slumped there. He should be. I am seriously questioning my sanity.

"Just help me in there. I'll be fine." He mumbles back at me. I push a tool box and my Go Bag to the side then help him to his feet. He sort of slides and slithers into the back of the SUV and curls up tightly. It's quite amazing how small he can make himself. I touch his arm.

"Flanders, how long do you need?" I move my hand and pull a tartan blanket over him.

"A day, maybe two." He answers but his voice is getting quieter.

"We don't have that long." Suddenly I want to pull him out again and shake him awake.

"I realise that. Give me two hours, but you are going to have to help me Hotchner. I cant do this alone. Make sure the car wont get towed for fucks sake and get me a hat and bandana or something. Two hours. Now go. Leave me."

The thought of closing this man in the back of the car seems insane. Then again this whole scenario if insane. I close it gently and lock it. I run my finger over the back of the vehicle. I have in the back of my car one of….no probably the most evil person alive and I am walking away so I can get him a hat to cover the bullet hole in his head. I stand there probably for ten minutes trying to get this to make some sort of sense in my head but I come back to the same place every time and that is a very dark and confusing place to be. I finally take two steps back from the car and then turn and look around. He said about making sure he didn't get towed so he's not wanting me to drive. I will have to walk to the bank and get some money and then to the store for a bandana and hat. What sort of hat? I have no idea, but I have an image in my mind from nowhere. I know – I know I've never seen him dressed in a hat and a dustcoat so I really don't know why I am seeing this so strongly. I will get him what he needs. Two hours. Two hours of Spencer somewhere with people who were able to incapacitate Flanders and take Sam. It makes my skin crawl thinking what must be going on. And my brain hurts wondering what on earth they took him for.

I walk quickly. I don't know how long this is going to take. I don't like leaving him there, but I have no choice. At least I know he cant get out.

The money I get from the ATM…my brain freezes when I have to tap in my pin number. I cant remember it. I stand and rub at my eyes and try to focus…Focus Aaron…Stop worrying about Flanders for long enough to function. The number is wrong. It takes three goes and I am getting concerned that either the machine will eat my card or I will never remember, but eventually it comes to me and the money slides out of the slot and the machine beeps wildly at me reminding me to take the card. I would have forgotten. Flanders is back on my mind again and I wonder if this is his doing to make sure I go back…but he is dead. He cant be alive. I must be insane. I've lost my mind.

For a while I stand on the sidewalk thinking. The money clutched in one hand and my card in the other. Either the man talked to me and held onto me or I a crazy. Actually either way I am…he cant be alive.

And again my mind and thoughts are spinning in a circle and coming to rest in that dark place.

"Bandana and hat." I mutter to myself pull out my wallet and replace the card and then slide in the notes and I am walking down the street towards a men's clothing store.

The bandana is easy to choose. I just grab a dark one…black with a pattern over it. The hat though is trickier. They want hat size and I have no idea and what it was it wont be now with part of his skull missing. I point out a black Stetson type hat in the end and get it so it hits me tightly. I'm sure it will do him. He has lots of hair. Had lots of hair. It's a nice hat. Good quality leather but it looks stupid on me. Remembering that his clothes are covered in brains and muck I pick up a long length coat to go over the top. Black again. He seems to be the typical black hat type to me. It costs me. But this is ultimately for Spencer so I don't mind.

I pick up two bottles of water and a few apples and walk back to the car. It has only been an hour and a half. I stand and look at the back of the car for a while not knowing what to do next. I have no idea where Spencer is. I cant find him alone. Alone…I have a team I can turn to. I look at the bag of things in my hand and wonder what the hell I am doing with a dead guy in the trunk and a hat in a bag for him.

It really is times like this. Sitting on the bench at the edge of the parking lot staring at my car that I wish I smoked. I wish I chain smoked. I could really do with taking in a lung full of poisons right now. I look down at my hands which are laying listlessly on my knees and feel my nose start to bleed again. This is all connected somehow. I don't know how…but I know deep down that Reid's problem and mine and Sam and Floyd – everything is somehow connected. The very idea of involving Dave or Prentiss seems ridiculous and as for talking to Morgan about it? I pull a tissue from my pocket and wipe at my nose. Insanity isn't catching.

Now it has been two hours. I get up from the bench and go back to the SUV…I pull out the keys and unlock the door and look down at the curled up form in the back. He's not moved. "Flanders." I say quietly and touch his shoulder. "It's been two hours. Time to go."

I hear a faint groan and feel his shoulder move under my hand but he doesn't do more. "Flanders!" and now I shake him. "We have to find Spencer." As an afterthought. "And Sam." He groans again and rolls onto his back.

"Help me out." His voice is rough and dry.

I grasp his shoulders and pull him to sit and now I can see clearly the hole in the front of his face and something throbbing and pulsating. It must be one of the most revolting things I have seen on someone who is still alive. Yes I have seen plenty of bad – very bad situations, but they are always dead. This should be dead too. I bend down and pluck the bandana from the bag and pass it to him. "Here." I say…and shaking fingers take it from me. He stares at it.

"I had my brains shot out over a filthy men's room floor." He says in a slightly slurred manner. "And you expect me to work out how the hell to do this?" He hands it back to me and shift slightly so the back of his head is facing me. "Fix it for me Hotchner." He says. "I need the front covered and protected. I don't want more flies laying eggs on by brain than already has."

-o-o-o-

I don't know what is going on.

I do know that they didn't like my answer.

They responded badly to my answer.

"You start telling the truth Dr Reid or someone is going to get hurt."

I shake my head. "I don't know! I don't know what you are talking about!" There said it. Kill me now. "You might as well let him go. I cant tell you what I don't know."

"You were working on a case." I am told….

I shake my head. "I don't remember."

"You have an eidetic memory – you don't forget." I watched as they pull Sam back by his feet then released him. A sickening crunching splat sound was made as his face and body hit the pillar. Sam remained silent.

"I don't remember." I say again…only this time quieter. "Doing that to Sam wont help my memory. This place wont help. I need …I need …" I need to stall them somehow. "There is somewhere I can go…something I can take it will help me." I still don't know what but they have stopped hurting Sam for now. I have to think quickly. "I've been having problems recently." They have turned from Sam.

"What sort of problems."

"I've been clean for a while now, but sometimes, sometimes I forget things. I had a head injury. It helps me forget and it helps me remember."

"We know all about you drugs problem Dr Reid. What are you trying to tell me? That you want Dilaudid?"

Actually that would be nice right now. I very probably wouldn't turn it down. "No, no…out in the forest. Natural herbs. Mushrooms…I smoke it." I've seen Floyd do it. I don't know when, but I do know I have. "I need some." I try to look at Sam but they are blocking my view.

"Give me a list. I'll send out for it."

I need to get to the forest. Floyd works best there. Sam will heal quicker there. Better chance to get away. "I don't know what they are called. I just know what they look like." I'd smoke anything right now to get out of this.

"Very well. We have to change location anyway. Bring him to the van. Leave the kid here. No point in dragging a corpse with us."

I'm sorry Sam. God damn these people. Sam I am so sorry. Floyd…where are you?

-o-o-o-

"Fine…you want me to dress like a sodding cowboy, I will."

And hey I look shit hot for a dead bloke.

* * *

* * *


	11. Chapter 11 Tracking

Tracking

* * *

He cant take his own weight and so has an arm around my waist and is leaning against me.

"Not sure this is going to work."

He tells me. "We have no options Flanders. It has to work."

He adjusts his hat for the fiftieth time and takes a stumbling step forwards. "I can tell you that Spencer and Sam were both taken in the same vehicle. I'm not sure which way it went. We'll…you'll have to drive for a bit and let me get my bearings."

At least if we are driving it will feel like we are doing something. I walk him slowly to the passenger door and then help him in. I even open the window for him. "I need to be able to pick up the scent." He tells me, so I take out the pine air freshener and put it in the bin. He doesn't say 'thank you' and I didn't expect it.

Again I am thinking as I sit there ready to drive off with a murderer at my mercy in the passenger seat that I could drive him to jail…straight to jail…do not pass GO…do not – do not rescue Spencer – or Sam. I cant do it and he knows I cant do it. His head is resting against the door frame and as I slowly pull away he lets out a small moaning sound.

"What? What's wrong."

But he just waves his hand in a 'It doesn't matter' fashion and so I carry on.

"Do you want me to try to follow Spencer's trail or Sam's? The thing being this – from this point they went in different directions but I suspect they will join again later. Now…before you answer I need to say that Sam's trail is fresher and easier to follow."

I nod. "I understand." I think they are both together somewhere… "Follow Sam."

Flanders nods. "Good choice. Turn left." And so we are moving now. I can feel my nose is bleeding again and once more I wipe at it. I want to ask Flanders about it. What he knows about it…What the connections with everything is but when I turn quickly to look at him he has his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open and he is drooling.

"Are you OK there?"

"Uh…yeah."

But the drool is running down the side of his face and dripping off the edge of his jawline.

"You're drooling." I tell him.

And I glance over and watch a shaking pale hand wipe at the side of his face. "Having swallowing issues. It will pass. Just keep going." He tells me when we reach a junction. "Straight over."

"This leads out of the city." I am driving slowly with my hands holding onto the wheel so hard I'm afraid I'll break something. He doesn't answer me and I do wonder if this is really happening. Maybe I am in bed. Maybe I had an accident and I'm in hospital on life support. Maybe this is just a nightmare. There has to be a logical explanation. I feel something on my leg and look down to see Flanders hand resting there. I look up at the road again.

"What are you doing?" I feel the hand tighten on my thigh.

"Squeezing your leg…what do you think I'm doing?"

The hand beings a slow stroking crawl up my leg. "Stop it. Flanders remove your hand."

"I just wanted you to know…you know…that this is real."

I don't know how he knew what I was thinking. I don't know how he knows any of the things he does, but he knew and that is enough to bother me. "I know it's real. Remove it." And he does. He moves it to his face again and wipes at the drool collecting there again, but sits up slightly in the chair. "Now what?" I can see he is frowning.

A small shake of the head. "Just too much…so much…blood. Keep going. They join here. I have both tracks now. It will be easier to follow." And his hand which is still shaking and white wipes across his mouth.

I should have take time to get my sidearms. I should be armed….this is stupid. I could have got a cab in the time I was waiting and gone back for my things. Yet I know really that I would never have left the car unattended for that long. I glance at him again. The hat looks good on him. He is a hat sort of person. I'm not. Well except for my pirates hat – and I expect Flanders would look better dressed as a pirate than I would.

"I don't know what we are going to do when we get there." I tell him.

"I don't have a clue either. I think I might have just pissed myself by the way."

Wonderful. He cant walk. He is incontinent and I am unarmed. What on earth are we doing? It does cross my mind that we should stop and arm ourselves, but with what? "Any clue what we are up against?"

He looks over at me with spittle dripping off his chin. "Five men. Armed. I think five. I can only sense five anyway – in the vehicles. I don't know what is where we are going. I wont know until we get there.

-o-o-o-

They put something over my head.

I cant breathe.

"Just walk."

I cant see.

"WALK!" And something hard is smacked across my back. I want to move my hands up and pull the thing away from my face but they've secured it in place with ties. I cant. I tried.

"Please. I cant breathe." And they are leaving Sam. They cant leave Sam. I need them to bring him so he can try to heal. "Bring the boy." I say, but the answer is another swipe across my back this time knocking me to the floor.

"Crawl." I am on my hands and knees and there is suddenly no air. Again I pull at the ties around the bag they have secured over my head and when I don't move they start kicking me.

I need to breathe.

I need to pull in some air.

I need to – oh god. They kick me and I try to do what they want. I try to crawl. The sweat is dripping off my face onto the thick fabric of the bag covering my face. I can hear them laughing and calling. "Crawly doggy crawl." And more kicks to my legs and arms knocking me back down again. I can vaguely feel as one set boots is impacting with my side that hands are at my neck…and a strange sense of relief at the thought they are going to remove this thing from my head, but they don't. The add something. They tie it around my neck.

"Come along little doggy." And they drag me and kick me at the same time. I cant get up. I cant defend. I cant breathe, and Sam. I have left Sam. Floyd will kill me. Floyd will skin me alive for this and my fear of what Floyd is going to do to me far outweighs what these people have in store.

I want to tell them they must bring Sam or I wont cooperate but I don't get the chance. The rope tightens around me neck and as I am jerked forwards of my hands I am dragged across the dirt outside the building I have been held in.

Then nothing.

-o-o-o-

"Right. Go right." I turn and can see he is sitting up a bit more in the chair and licking at his lips.

"This goes to an industrial estate. Warehouses." I tell him and rub at the tickling on my nose.

"They went this way. I can smell it…I can smell it." His hands move so they are holding onto the bottom edge of the window. "Something is wrong." I thought for a minute he was going to throw him self out of the window. He leans right out and I can see him taking in the air. It is probably about five minutes later that he points out a building.

"Stop…pull over." He pushes him self back into the car and sits staring at a warehouse dead in front of us.

"Is this it?"

He nods slowly. "Do you have a cunning plan Agent Aaron Hotchner? Cos I'm not able to get over there on my own… but…actually help me out. Something is wrong."

I switch off the engine and turn to look at him. "Wrong? In what way wrong? And I have no plan. I don't know how many people are there."

He does a strange curl or his lip at me. "No one. One. One person and a lot of blood." And now he is opening the car door and unclipping his harness. "Help me out damnit!"

I get out of the vehicle quickly and move around to his side of the car where he is sliding sideways out into the dirt. "We are too late." He is muttering to himself as he falls to the ground. "Go and check it out. Leave me here."

I'm looking over at the building and down at Flanders. Why am I trusting him? I bend down and grab his under the arms and pull him upright. He stinks. He is vile in every respect but I'm not leaving him helpless in the dirt. "You can come with me. If we are too late – if they have gone then it doesn't matter."

"Too late for Spencer. Let the fuck go of me and check out who the hell is still in there…my sense are confused…too many smells."

But I'm not about to do that. Again I am wondering why the hell I am trusting this person and so I don't do as he is demanding…I drag him with me across the dirt towards the doors. We are nearly there when Flanders speaks again. "Wait…fuck…wait a minute…let me go."

"No, you're coming in with me." I move forward again.

"Hotchner – here – something happened here – Let me down."

I look down and can see the marks in rough ground from the tyres of a wide vehicle. A van or and SUV maybe. I lower him down carefully where he settles on his hands and knees and moves his fingers over the ground. He then lifts them to his face and licks them. I just stand and watch. I don't now what he is doing or how he does it. But have to try to trust him.

"They dragged him. He is bleeding, but alive. They dragged him out this way."

"Reid?" I crouch down next to him. "You are sure?"

He looks at me with his head slightly on one side. "Yes I'm sure. He is hurt but alive." And now he is looking at the doors leading into the building. "Which means it is Sam still in there." I look around for something, anything I can use as a weapon but the area is devoid of anything I can use. Floyd is already on his way crawling to the door. I move out in front of him and stand in front of the door with my hand on the handle. Too much trust I know. I don't know what I am thinking. I look back at Flanders who has stopped moving and is now curling up into a ball on the ground. There is nothing for it. I have to go in. The door pulls…so I push the handle down and pull it open. It makes a slight squeak but nothing bad. There are lights on in the room…a huge room with dark shadows in the corners and around the edges. I listen carefully for sounds but all there is, is the occasional scuttling of small rodents and a steady dripping of water from somewhere. I keep my back to the wall and keeping in the shadows I move slowly around the room.

I am looking for Sam. I don't know what to expect when I find him. I just know it's not going to be nice. My eyes catch something in the middle of the room. A pillar and something handing from it. I run my fingers through my hair as I try to get my eyes to adjust to it and I take some steps forwards.

"Sam?" and as I move nearer I realise what the dripping sound is. "Oh my god." And I am running.

I put my arms around his waist and lift him slightly to take the weight off his arms. "Sam." I say again…I need him to wake up. "Wake up…I'll help you."

-o-o-o-

They drag me by my feet out of the back of the van and pull me to my feet. I don't know exactly where we are but I can take a wild guess. Apart from it being a forest obviously.

"Move." I am pushed forwards. Come on Floyd. I am here…come and get me. Find me. I stumble down the animal trail and can hear the engine of the van starting up again. A quick glance around shows me that there are four people with me now. So one has taken the van away. "Find what you need. Quickly."

I give a cursory glance around and even go to a tree and touch the bark as though I know what I am doing. "We need to go deeper." I say with a false confidence I hope that they cant see. I hope they cant read my lies. I don't know what I am looking for. I really have no idea….but still I pluck out a couple of large leaves and hold them between my hands rubbing my fingers over them. Just make it look like you know what you are doing. Just keep stalling them…Floyd will find me…He wont let me down.

Then I remember Sam.

And I wonder…will he even be thinking of me if he finds Sam hanging there bleeding. Is Sam dead? Will he tell his father that I tried to help?

As I walk I occasionally pick a leaf or berry and hold them tightly in my hand. I have no idea what will happen if I am asked to smoke this. I know I will be sick and so I just have to stall them for as long as possible.

"You nearly done? Because you know if you are taking the piss I will put a bullet in your head as quickly as I did your boyfriends."

I stand and close my eyes. They shot Floyd in the head? The forest is spinning around me as I try to think what to do next. "I just need a couple more things." I mutter and walk to the side of the track picking a mushroom thing and breaking a bit of a green moss off the edge of a tree. "I need to prepare it." So now what? How on earth do a prepare this handful of 'stuff'? I look around and make a decision. I snap a bit of bark off a tree and pull a stone out of the earth and sit on the edge of the trail. They are standing watching and I don't know if this is going to work. I really have no clue what I am doing here but I have to do something. I place the two big leaves to the side. "Where is the other guy?"

I ask as I start to grind the things together. I don't get an answer though.

When I have what looks something like something…I'm not sure what I pick up the leaves and place the mixture on it. I then curl the leaf around it and roll it up.

"I don't know how well this will work." I tell them. "The mixture is a bit damp…I'm not sure it will burn." I show them the odd looking thing I have made and I am give one match and something to strike it against. I place it between my lips and flick a flame onto the end and take a drag enough to make the end smoulder. They are watching me. They are watching closely and I need to make this look good. I have absolutely no intention of inhaling this muck. The smell of it burning is enough to make my stomach churn.

Slowly I stand.

I lean against a tree and I take another false lung full. The smell if so vile it is making my head spin.

He's not coming.

Floyd's not coming.

I have to do this alone.

I still have in my hand the stone I used for grinding. Trying not to let them see what I am about to do and just leaning on the tree smoking this 'thing' I lob the stone. It has the desired effect of causing them to turn and as they do – I push away from the tree, dropping the smoke, and I run. I run into the deepest darkest bit of the forest I can find and I have no intention of stopping just because they are bellowing at me.

"Stop now or I open fire you little shit."

* * *


	12. Chapter 12 Picnic

Picnic

* * *

I need to go back and get rid of the kid's body. They will dispose of Reid out there in the forest. The animals will finish off the remains. We will have to start again. Hotchner next time. We will get the information, but I don't think that skinny genius knew what we wanted to know.

Obviously I know immediately that there is a problem. An SUV is parked up not far from the warehouse so I turn the van around so it's pointing the way I just came and pull in close up behind it. I doubt it can be seen from the warehouse.

Now my problem is that I don't know who was in the SUV or how many. I pull my sidearm and check it and then as quietly as I can I leave the van and walk towards the warehouse. There is no cover here. The land is sparse and dry. No trees of even much along the lines of grass here so I walk with my gun pointing downwards and make my way as quietly as I can to the warehouse door which I can see is standing open.

There is something lying on the ground. A pile of something. I walk quietly towards it. A person. Curled up in the dirt. As I get closer it moves and rolls onto its front and starts to try to crawl away from me. I have no idea who it is. I don't really care who it is. I will never know. I place a round between his shoulder blades and watch as he slumps to the ground again but I can see his hands clawing at the dirt. The next round hits him on the back of the neck…and now the hands are just twitching a bit.

Then nothing.

I kick it.

Still nothing.

Now I am looking at the door again. If this was a rescue attempt then it failed.

But there might be someone else…and that someone else would have heard the two shots. There is no way in hell I am going to now walk through that door.

I have to move quickly. I glance at the body in the dirt again and then make my way around the exterior of the building towards the rear.

-o-o-o-

I hear them shout and I hear them following me and all I can do is keep running and hope I end up somewhere before…….

They fire a round but it comes no where near me…

….it is to scare me and it is working. I try running between the trees to shield myself and this time as I dart to the side a round slams into the tree by my shoulder. I need a weapon and I need to keep moving. I must not stop. I look around as I move quickly stumbling occasionally. I see two things at the same time; a sturdy branch on the forest floor and a big old tree. I run, duck and grab the branch and leap into cover.

Deep but ragged breaths are coming from me. I try to quieten them down but I am sure I can be heard so I stand with my weapon held tightly against my chest, holding it with both hands and listen. I listen carefully and I can hear them coming. I can hear their calls to each other. Maybe I will be lucky and they will run past me. I can then double back and make my way back to the track and out of here. Maybe.

But the crashing through the forest lets me know very clearly that they know where I am. I don't have much of a chance. I can start to run again or stand my ground and fight. Either way I am out gunned and out numbered. At least if I stay here I wont be winded too.

Everything suddenly happens at the same time. I see him appear around the edge of the tree and I step in and swing for his head. It makes a lovely cracking sound and temporarily slows him down. At the same time from behind me now comes the sound of gun fire and something hard smacks into my shoulder. It takes a second or two to realise that I've been shot. It just felt like a rock or a heavy punch. I look down and can see blood trickling down the right hand side of my upper chest, just below my collar bone.

I am being shouted at. They are shouting at me to do something but my body had decided to stop responding to anything now and as I drop the now cracked wooden branch to the floor my knees give way and I am falling face first into the leaves.

I don't know what they are going to do with me now. It seems rather obvious to me as I lay there bleeding that the questions have stopped. They kick me in my side until I turn over onto my back and I move my shaking hands to the bloody patch on the front of my clothing.

"That was really stupid." One of them says to me.

"We were going to just kill you quickly. You wouldn't have felt it. Like we did your lover boy."

"But now we will have some fun with you first."

It's a mess.

It is a confused mess in my head. They are pulling me by my arms over to a patch of grass and I kick out at them until someone holds a pistol to the side of my face and tells me to stop… "Stop it now pretty boy or I will fuck you with this pistol here."

The flashbacks are so vivid and terrifying that I stop. I stop kicking. I just lay there bleeding and let them pull my pants down to my knees and I let them turn me over in the grass and they whoop and they laugh and they tear into me the way Floyd has done more times than I can count but this time there are not any words to tell me they care. There are no mouths nibbling and tasting my skin – now it is just brutal and painful.

I screamed for a while and then I just lay and shook. I didn't fight it. There's nowhere to run to. Nowhere to crawl to. I can feel someone playing with me with the pistol. They must be able to …I am sure – they must see my terror. They play on it by pressing and pushing the barrel of the pistol into me…by removing the safety and then describing to me what happens as the bullet will pass through me. What agony it will be, how slowly I will die and I cant move. I cant talk. I can just lay there and listen and let them do this to me.

They don't need to tell me what happens. I know. I know what happens. I've seen the results of this and the bile from my stomach is trying to creep up into my mouth, but I need to keep still. I cant afford to move.

I know they will kill me.

But please not like this.

They push me back over onto my back again and I can see them looking down at me and grinning. "We thought FBI would have a bit more fight in him. Did you enjoy that? I think you enjoyed it didn't you?"

But I try not to react to them I move my hands down to pull my clothing back up and for a little while I think they are going to let me. At least let me die with my pants pulled up, but then the foot comes down on my hand. Not hard. Not enough to break my fingers, but enough to let me know to stop what I am doing. I don't know how but the pain in my shoulder seems to be fading. Probably shock. I know my brain isn't reacting to this abuse the way it should. I know I should be fighting it but my fight or flight response seems to be gone. I just want them to hurry up and finish this.

-o-o-o-

The only reason I'm not dead right now is because Sam is in there and Spencer is being hurt. I cant afford to be dead. I've bled a bit too much though which is a problem. I need to feed and there is nothing here. Not an animal in sight and yes there is the guy who just stuck the rounds in my back but he is likely to just keep filling me with lead until I'm too heavy to move. I know he's moved away and I know Hotchner has Sam. They will be fine. Spencer though – he's not doing so good.

'_I'm coming for you babes. Just hold on there.'_

I try to let him know but I don't know if he can hear me. I have to crawl. This is humiliating hands and knees stuff but slowly I make it to the van the bloke drove in and parked up. I can pull myself up at the driver's door and I let myself in. The keys still sit there hanging from the ignition. Oh it must be my lucky day. Something good for once. HA! Watch out you bastards …you hurt my Spence you will fucking pay with your lives. The van starts easily and I pull away slowly. There is blood dripping every fucking where now. I really need to sort this out before I try to help Spence, or I will just bleed out and be crap. I need to feed or at least rest to stop this oozing out of me so fast. I know though that I don't have time. I can feel it. I can feel that Spence has given up. I can feel what they have done to him. I can feel how much pain he is in.

And I can feel his fear. I can smell it. From right back here…it travels and I can pick it up.

Following the trail back to where the van was – to where Spencer is is easy. I can do that no problem. But now I am here. I am parked up in the forest and I can hear his screams. I can hear him…in my head screaming for me.

'_Floyd where are you?!'_

He did good getting them to bring him here. I feel better already just seeing the trees. Just being here. I push open the van door and fall out onto the floor. I squish leaves and grass between my fingers and then put my hands to my face and take in the sweet scent. It will be slow going but I know the further in I get the better I will feel. For now I have to stay on my hands and knees and crawl. That's cool…that's really not a problem when I am on this pathway…I can smell him…I can tell which way he went. I move as quickly as I can and I need Spencer to fight. I don't want him to give up. I'm so nearly there now. I can see where he left the path. He was running. He was escaping but they followed. I can see easily the broken leaves and trampled undergrowth.

Now. I need to let you know something. I am still bleeding. I have left a trail of it behind me. There is a puddle of blood on the van seat. I really don't know if once I get to Spencer I will be any good to him. I need to feed.

………….and so I am sitting now with my back to a tree and I am probing at my injuries and wondering how I can fix this properly. I chew on my bottom lip and I scratch at my neck and I am flummoxed. A woodland or forest animal would seem mostly likely but there doesn't seem to be anything around and so I have to wait. I cant fight these blokes if I cant even stand. I'm still growing by brain back for the love of the gods. I should be in hibernation. Not crawling my scrawny arse through this damned place.

'_Hold on babes…just hold on. Keep fighting it…I'm on my way.'_

-o-o-o-

"I'll see if the van is back yet."

One of them walks away…

The other three are still with me.

"Finish him off and catch up."

At last they are going to just put a round in my head and leave me alone. I really thought I had a small chance for a while, but as they bend over me and drag the rest of my clothing off I don't try to stop them. I don't assist, but I don't resist it either.

Keep fighting it. I've been told. A voice has told me to keep fighting it. That he is on his way, but he would have been here by now. And Sam. What of Sam. He is his spawn. He will be with him.

Keep fighting it though, is there a point?

He's on his way. He will be here soon.

"Why are you doing this?" I eventually manage to ask. "I don't know who you are. Why don't you just let me go?"

"Orders are orders." I am told.

"Turn over and get on your hands and knees. Lets make a nice clean job of this." And he pulls his gun and clicks off the safety and smiles at me lying there in the forest leaves with my clothing tossed to one side. I look up at the guy with the gun and then to someone moving to my things and carefully folding them.

"You can at least tell me why." I say. Trying to stall for as much time as I can, but time has run out.

"Hands and knees boy." He says again and the third man picks up a branch and stands holding it.

"No." I have no intention of making this easy for them. I might not be kicking and screaming, but I will be noncompliant.

They are the ones kicking and now I am reacting to them. Now I try to escape their feet and hands but I know there is really not a point. I can see the guy with my clothes walking off now. Taking my things with him. It's over.

Time to accept it.

The tree branch club takes me across the face. I feel my nose crack and I put my hand up to defend against this but the branch catches me across the back of my hands and I yell out in pain.

"Turn the fuck over and let me get this done."

"No."

"Fine. Have it your way freak." He fires the gun anyway. I really thought he would put a round between my eyes. It was what I expected, but this is in my stomach. A very well aimed shot. I am quietly and fatally impressed by it. "Die slowly then." He says to me as I put my hands over the hole in my stomach where the blood is pumping from. "Stay awake genius boy. I want you to feel this." So as the grey fogs my vision and I try to let it go and as the blood pumps happily out between my fingers they prod at me with boots and jab at me with the tree branch and tell me how long it takes a body to disappear in the forest. The rate I will rot down, the percentage of meat the animals will get from me. The chances that anything will ever be found. They tell me all of this, but I already knew. So in defiance I call out to Floyd in my mind.

'_I'm sorry.'_

But obviously they don't know I did that.

I can taste blood in my mouth and I can feel it filling my air ways now and I'm coughing and choking on my blood and trying to spit it out and they start to walk away from me.

"Sweet dreams Dr Reid." They call out.

And finally I am left to close my eyes and……………….

-o-o-o-

I hear him coming and so I pull back a bit and wait. Then I see him. I can smell he has been with Spence. I can smell Spencer's sweat and fear on him. I would love to have stood up and told him what I was going to do to him. I would love to have given him the details of how I actually do what I do…but I don't have the strength or time. I wait until he is level with me and then I stand and I rip his throat out. He didn't even whimper. Nothing. One minute alive. The next Floyd's lunch. Thank you. I pull him away from where I killed him and into some deep darkness. I rip him open and I tear out his liver and I suck on it and smile at the expression on his face.

I am feeling better already…so I turn him over and use his arse as I chew on him and it makes my heart fell happy. At last I have fed. Now I have screwed his dead posterior I turn him back over and remove the heart. I squish it between my fingers and drink from it before I begin to nibble upon it.

More footsteps. So I drop the remains of what I have and move quickly to see who it is and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. This bloke I will talk to.

"Hey." I say as I step out.

It takes a few seconds but eventually what has happened sinks in. "What the fuck?" he says. Which is how I know it has sunk in.

"Why do you have Spencer's clothes?"

"What the hell?" he is dropping my lover's clothes to the floor and going for his gun when I snap his neck.

I watch as he falls to the floor and I was going to tear him open, but I kick him out of the way and pick up Spencer's things. "You'll need these babes." I say into the forest and I bury my face into the soft fabric and inhale the delicious scent of my Spencer and it is as I am doing this and finally feeling like I am nearly there that I hear a yelp of pain. Unmistakably Spencer. Followed shortly by a gunshot. A gunshot which echoes around the forest and tells me.

Too late Floyd. You're too late.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13 Dark Places

Dark Places

**A/N: SMALL SLASH ALERT.**

* * *

I drag the corpse off the path and then myself I move through the forest along the edge of the trail. Spencer's clothes I have tightly under my arms. I move fast now I have the nourishment of the blood in me…I am still leaking slightly but it wont take long to stop,

I hear them moving.

I can hear them. I need to decide. Take them out and know we are safe, or keep going to Spence and risk them coming back. I put his clothes down carefully and move off towards the sounds of crashing through the undergrowth.

It's not really possible to describe what I did to them. I don't really remember. It's an instinctive thing you know. The ripping out of throats with my teeth. The snapping of necks, that is child's play. Something I have done since I was a child. This though is different. I go into like some kind of demonic rage. I have no idea what I am doing and I certainly have no ability to stop it. It is just suddenly there and then it's gone and the entrails are hanging from branches and it looks like an explosion in a abattoirs. I look around me and I don't know how long this took me to do, but it is definitely finished. I am holding a smashed open head in my hands and in slow motion I look down at it. I don't know how I cracked it open like that, but I did and I watch myself dip my fingers in through the jagged hole and hook out bits.

My eyes are not focused. My mind is not focused on anything but the contents of this person's skull. He removed mine. I will replenish it with his.

Slowly – too slowly I am able to pull back from the carnage and remember what I am meant to be doing. I throw the head into the trees and turn and as I wipe my sticky fingers on the front of my shirt I bend down and pick up my hat then readjust my bandana and then walk back to where I left Spencer's clothes. I pick them up and look back the way I came and then towards where I heard the gunshots. I lick my lips and start to move forwards…My nose is bleeding. My fingernails are ripped and torn. I feel sated.

This place I'm in now is a small clearing. The grass is sparse under the shadow of these big trees and what there is of it is crushed and battered.

He is almost central to the area. Slightly off to the right. He has his back to me and is laying foetal and naked and bloodied.

"Spence?" I don't expect him to answer. I can see his back. I can see where something has ripped through him. I can see how as he has turned to his side it has run across his back and into the leaves. I can see the things stuck to the blood on his back. I can see the puddle he is laying in. I move slowly to him. "I'm here." And I kneel down behind him. "Babes." I put out a hand and touch his cold flesh. Quickly I shrug off the long coat thing Hotchner gave me and I lay down behind Spencer and pull it over both of us. I grab his trousers and make a pillow of them and lift his head out of the dirt and lay it down again gently. I stroke his hair and remove the dead leaves and twigs and insects. He has insects and husks stuck in his hair. I pull them out and flick them aside, slipping a few into my mouth.

He is still breathing, but hardly and it's not going to last long. I place my hand on his chest and feel his heart hammering away much to fast and I can feel the bubbling in his chest.

"You're safe now Spence." And I pull him closer and move my hand from his chest and slide his hands off the hole in his stomach and place mine there. I feel his hand move back and lay over mine. I want him to say something to me. I want to hear his voice but he remains silent and if I can pull him through this there is the thing growing in his brain too I need to get rid of if Sam cant fix it and I don't think he can.

-o-o-o-

I feel his hands touching me and at first I expect them to hurt me. I am prepared for more pain, but they don't. He touches me gently with his fingers and moves his hand over the hole I am still bleeding from and he talks to me and I want to answer him but something isn't right with my body now and I manage to move my hand over his but I am dying and there isn't much he can do about this. Strangely though it feels good. I feel happy and warm and content. I feel safe and there is no pain at all. All there is now is the all encompassing feeling of being wanted.

He is still talking to me and his words I feel as whispers across my skin. I don't know what the words are and it doesn't matter.

I've started shaking. I try to stop it but I can't. My whole body is shuddering and shaking and now I can feel him holding me tighter and still he is talking to me and I try to answer but I start to cough and my mouth fills with blood.

The world goes dark.

But it's not silent.

I can hear someone shouting.

I can hear wings.

I can hear buzzing of insects…but the wings I hear are from something huge. Something monstrous.

And the shouting continues. It sounds like Floyd and it feels as though I am still curled up somewhere but not in a forest. The floor feels familiar but I don't know why. It is almost rubbery beneath my fingers. Floyd's not holding me now but one of my hands is back over the bleeding wound and the other, the one closest to the floor were I am lying on my side…that hand is just resting next to me.

I can hear Floyd clearly.h

"No I wont!"

But I cant hear what he is reacting to.

"How the hell can I?!"

I open my eyes and look over the where I can hear him. This whole place seems strangely familiar but I don't know why. I don't know when I would have been here before.

"I wont do it." He is shouting into the darkness. I can only see his back. He has on tight jeans and a shirt which is coming untucked at the back. A dark shirt…dark jeans…and a dark hat. He is pointing and gesticulating which his hands as he shouts out to something.

"This isn't how it works. Why do you fuck with me like this? What the hell did I do so fucking wrong that you like to see me squirm."

He is standing now in his odd feet together hands at his sides posture…leaning back slightly with his head cocked to one side. He is listening to something. Something I cant hear. I move from the curled up position I am in on the floor which feels almost oddly alive under me. It is now that I realise I have been partially dressed. Sort of. I have a length of cloth tied around my middle…a big knot at the side. As I move and get slowly to my feet it slips down to hip level and I think for a minute that the makeshift item of clothing is going to fall to the floor, but my hips catch it. I move my hand from my stomach and over to the knot and tie it a bit tighter.

Looking around me I can see almost nothing but Floyd…and in the distance something on the floor, but it is too dark over there to make out what it is. Whatever it is though it's not moving as so for now I don't need to worry about it. I walk barefoot over to Floyd who is still just standing maybe listening to something. I gently put my fingertips on his back.

"Floyd?" I feel the muscles in his back tighten and he spins quickly to face me. His hands come up and he places on in each of my cheeks and then leans in and kisses me softly on the mouth.

"Spence." He says onto my lips and then quickly runs his tongue over my dry skin. One of his hands moves down now and touches the stickiness on my front. "You are still bleeding. Does it hurt?" I can feel his lips brush over mine as he talks to me and the hand still resting on my face moves around and touches my hair.

"It doesn't hurt." And when I lick my lips I can taste Floyd on me. "Where are we?"

His hand has moved from my stomach now and is on the bit of bare thigh showing. "I need you to do something for me Babes." And he is turning me to face that thing I saw earlier. "Go over there and wait for me." I can feel now that his lips are brushing against my spine. "Please." He says and a hand is on my backside giving me a friendly squeeze. "It's safe." And now he is pushing me forwards. "Go…wait for me."

So I walk slowly away from him.

I turn and he is standing in that odd way looking at me and he shakes his head quickly so I turn and walk again. When I turn back the next time he has his back to me.

-o-o-o-

I don't know where I am or how I got to be here.

I had been untying Sam when it happened. Something hit me in the back. I remember Sam sliding from my hands and hitting the floor and I remember turning to see what had happened. Someone was standing there is the shadows and something in his hand…I saw the flash and this time I heard the gunshot and something shattered it's way through my chest and out of my back. I could see – I could see someone stepping out now and walking forwards and I could even see his mouth moving but as my legs gave way under me and I fell next to Sam I couldn't hear him.

When I looked up I could see his face looking down at me and his mouth was still moving but it was in silence. I could feel Sam next to me trying to crawl away and when then gun fired again I wondered why I couldn't feel it, but then realised it was Sam who had taken that round and he stopped crawling and lay there shaking and making strange noises for a while.

It was dark so I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was here.

As I said – I don't know what this place is. Sam is here. He is on the floor next to me curled up and naked. I have a sarong type thing around me in a deep red. Sit and cross my legs and lean forwards to touch Sam. He feels warm but when rest my hand on his back I cant feel any sign that he is breathing.

The shouting alerts me to the fact we are not alone. It is Flanders…he is shouting at someone but I cant see what. There is someone with him, but I don't think that person is who he is talking to. I watch as the two of them move closer and touch and talk and then one of them begins to walk slowly towards me. Turning a couple of times to look back at Flanders. I am sure it is Spencer, but I cant tell until he is nearly upon me.

"Hotch?"

And I stand to meet him.

"Reid." I put my hand out to him and he grabs hold of it.

"Oh god Hotch – what happened to you?" His other hand comes up and touches a black and red coloured hole on my chest and he watches me and brings a hand over to cover mine.

"I'm not sure. What is this place?"

"Oh don't worry." And Spencer is smiling at me. A big toothy happy smile. "This isn't real Hotch. This is a dream. I'm dying. This is just all part of it."

I take his hand off my chest and squeeze his fingers. "I'm not dreaming this Spencer."

But he pulls his hands away from mine and still has that strange smile on his face. "How can this be real Hotch? Tell me how this can be really happening."

I don't know how to answer him. I don't know the answer. I have no idea what this place is.

Floyd's sudden shouting and denials cause us both to turn in his direction and look. He is standing still. Almost like he is locked that way but now his head is tipped back and he is shouting upwards. Telling someone 'no.' Telling them he wont do it but I don't know what it is he is refusing to do.

Something grabs my ankle and I look down and see Sam has moved and is holding onto me.

"Are you going to help him?" He says. His eyes glinting in the dark. I crouch down next to him and touch his face.

"Sam. I thought you were dead." And those eyes blink at me and a small crease forms between his eyes.

"You need to help him." He says. "I'll look after Spencer."

I hear a soft sigh and I turn t see Reid standing looking down at me. "You need to help him Hotchner." The voice sounds like Sam's though. Not Reid's. I stand and look at him and that weird smile is still on his face. "Go and help him decide." And this time I think it might be Spencer's voice.

-o-o-o-

He doesn't want to leave. I can see that. I turn and look back at Floyd who has his back to us.

"Fine…fine…stay with Sam. I'll help him." And I know Floyd told me to leave but I have a funny feeling I have to persuade him to make the right choices here. I slowly walk back again. This time though I walk in front of him to get his attention.

"Floyd." I tell him. "You need to make a decision."

His eyed flicker from what he is looking at in the pitch darkness of the never ending sky to me and then back again.

"It's not that simple." He looks annoyed with something.

"May I help you decide?" And I touch the big embossed belt buckle with the word 'whore' written on it which he has on. I feel his hand move over and touch mine. Very gently. Not enough to tell me to stop. Not enough to encourage it. Just an acknowledgement.

"As I said. It's not that simple."

And as the belt comes undone and my fingers work on his waist band button I ask him… "What is it you need to decide?"

"It's complicated politics babes….its….it….Spencer? What are you doing?"

I run my fingers over him and smile. "Helping you decide."

He looks puzzled and scratches at his neck and then nods. "Good – I've decided." My hands get pushed out of the way as Floyd drops to his knees in front of me and twists the knot of my sarong so it's at the front.

"I've decided!" He calls out.

-o-o-o-

Really the decision was too easy in the end. Spencer is such a fucking filthy whore he was willing to do that to save his skin…Its my duty then to show him a neat new trick…with my tongue and with my lips and with my mouth and I wait until I hear that little noise he makes.

And then I devour him.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14 The Tick

The Tick

* * *

"You are going to have to do what I ask you to do Hotchner, or we are stuck."

Sam is pushing himself to his feet and looking around him. Floyd and Spencer I cannot see. I don't know what happened to them…they just seemed to fade away into nothing.

"You are going to have to do what I tell you." Sam prods me with a long bony finger. "I need something to wear."

I run the palms of my hands over the fabric of my sarong. I'm not taking it off for him. "I'll help you." I say to him. "But I don't know this place. I don't know where I will get you clothing." The boy turns his back to me and walks away a few steps. He shouts out into the darkness.

"You cant to this! This isn't fair. This isn't right." He shouts out to someone…and I can hear a faint whispering reply but not loud enough to hear what it is. "At least give me something to wear!"

I watch him closely. It looks as though he is listening to something but I can't hear it now. Not even the whisperings.

It floats gently down from the sky and Sam I can see it watching it and nodding. "Fine…I'll do it. I'll do it." He snatches the thing and I can see now it is a greenish blue coloured sarong. I watch as he ties it around his waist and then he turns and looks at me, "We need to talk, you and I. We need to have an agreement."

He walks back over to me and is smiling in much the same way Spencer was earlier. Too broad. Too many teeth and somehow wrong. A hand reaches out and grabs my arm. "To talk Hotchner. We need to talk." And he is moving me away from where we had been standing. Away from the dim light and into the red glowing shadows I can see out of the corner of my eyes. I am sure there are things out there moving. Things creeping around just out of sight but I let Sam move me onwards.

"It's like this you see. He chose the slut. He chose the filth over me and I'm non too happy about that."

I'm not sure at first what he is talking about. "Reid?"

He sighs and grips tighter onto me. "Who the hell else? He whored his way out of here and though it seems like a good idea in a way I am sixteen-ish and screwing you isn't part of my master plan. Screwing over my shit of a father is. I don't give a fuck about Spencer. He's going to die anyway. The brain tumour will get him. I made sure of that, but he chose him over me. Over you."

"I don't know how I can help."

"I need you to be my little slave boy for a while."

"Well Sam that is not going to happen. You need to take me to whoever is running this place and let me talk to him or her. I need to get home," The hand is gripping even tighter now. His fingers digging into my flesh.

"Wont happen Hotchner. I don't even get to see him or talk to him. Dad had that intermediary. I have nothing. I have to prove myself first, but even dad didn't get to talk to the boss." He lets out a small chuckle. "You really don't want to see him. We can sort this but you need to work with me on this."

I put my hand over Sam's and try to pull it away. "Let go of me and slow down a bit. I need to know what is going on here." But the fingers dug in further into my arm.

"OK…. Now listen to me. I am going to beat the living shit out of your and you are going to let me."

This time I rip the hand from me and back away. "And you listen to me. I'm doing nothing of the sort."

He stands there and frowns at me and his lip curls slighting giving him an almost demonic look in the slightly reddish light. "Listen smart arse. We are stuck here. My dad took the slut with him. I need to take you, but I cant do anything if I don't have control. I need to raise my status to the next level or I will have to wait for that bit of filth to die of the thing I put in his brain and dad gets brought back and I really don't want that. It's time I moved on and stopped taking orders from that backstabbing piece of shit."

"And how does this involve me?"

"You see." And he is grabbing for my hand this time. "To get out of this place I need to show them I have one hundred percent control over you, well anyone, and you want out of here too I assume? Yes you do. No need to answer. The longer we take the bigger head start those mother fuckers get and I need to pull – increase – gain control over this situation. To do that I am going to beat the shit out of you and you are going to pretend to defend but you _will _let me do it."

I snatch my hand back. "I don't think so."

"Oh screw you and your macho fucking ways. No one but them." He looks behind him. "And you will know about it. What's the fucking problem?"

"You hitting me is my problem." I move back away from him. "I really need to talk to someone in charge." But he is sticking with me.

"No – no you don't want to talk to someone. You want to do what I am suggesting because that is the only damned way we can get out of here. The only way I can get the status and the only way you can get out of here is to do what I tell you."

I shake my head at him and start to walk away but he is there pulling on the back of my sarong.

"You sir, you are not understanding this situation. You will do what I say or you will be stuck here for eternity. If that is what you want and how you want to spend the rest of your life – until the whore boy dies of his brain thing – then stand there and do nothing, but I am going to whop your arse if you like it or not."

He is a child and if he thinks I am going to let him smack me around he can think again.

-o-o-o-

"Lay still for the love of the gods. Just lay still." His voice sounds too far away and down a dark tunnel. The pain. There is pain that I wont even begin to describe.

"What are you doing?" I move my hands out to try to find him, but he is above and behind me and I am lying down and it is damp. Everything is damn and a strange smell.

"Brain surgery. If you want me to fuck up and kill you then just carry on wriggling. Keep the fuck still."

The words are nonsense. I know that. I am aware of that. I place a hand down onto the thing I am lying on and it feels like glass. Maybe with condensation on it. Drops of liquid. Tiny little bubbles of something rising from the floor and popping under my fingertips. It is wrong. So I move my hand to my face and feel my lips and feel my nose and I run my fingers over the side of my face. "I don't understand. Where are we?"

"Just somewhere. It doesn't matter. You should be sleeping. Please Spence go back to sleep."

But I can feel it. I can feel fingers probing inside of my skull and skimming over the edges of my mind…my brain. I can feel a snagging pulling sensation. "Stop!" And I move my fingers up to try to find Floyd's hands. I feel it. I feel where he has his fingers deep inside my skull. I can feel him digging and pulling and probing with his calloused hands and finger. "What?! NO!" but things are foggy and though I try to grip Floyd's wrist and pull his fingers away from my brain – I know this is a nightmare. I know….as I fall back into my sleep that this isn't happening.

-o-o-o-

There was this thing.

Not really a tumour but that would be the best way to describe it really.

Sam put it there.

The little bastard put it there to screw with Spencer's memory.

I can remove it if he lies still for long enough. I have had to slap his hands out of the way a couple of times now. The light is poor here, but I needed a sterile environment and this was the one offered. Choices are few when there are non. You know? It was here or nothing – but he wont stay asleep and I really need him to keep still if I am ripping bits of his brain out with my fingers.

Forgot the cleaning crap stuff for my hands and so I just licked them clean and dug out fingernail dirt with my teeth, but I'm unsure now if all I managed to do was deposit tooth dirt behind my nails and Flanders dribble over my hands. I'm not sure how sterile it is. I need to hope…I need to hope that this place. – the place with the glass floor which looks down onto the world – I need to really hope it sterilises my fingers as well as whatever else.

Weird place. Forever morphing and changing but it's all good. I can deal with this but the lighting is crap.

"Stay still babes."

There is a deal going on. I shat on Sam basically so that I can have Spence. He'll be fine. Hotchner and Sam will be able to sort things. I'm pretty confident on that part, but I want to be away from the area before they sort it. I really don't want to face the wrath of Sam Flanders when I am trying to heal my Spence.

I pull it out of his brain. A strange thing. A living thing…almost like a tick. A huge pulsating blob with tiny legs which had been sinking down into his mind taking from him his memories. I place it on the floor and watch as it tries to waddle away from me. Quickly I stand and with my booted heel I stamp down.

It pops and it squirts its interior up my leg and across the transparent floor surface.

It squeals and screams and it shouts a echo of a 'no' and it sounds like Spencer, but it's not.

I look down at the gooey mess on the floor and I see it is pulling back together and sliding and reforming and moving across my foot and now it is me who is shouting out "NO!" and bending down and trying to scrape it off my foot with my fingers, but it is broken and slimy and slippery and I cant grip it.

Quickly it crawls between the fabric of my jeans and my leg.

"Crap! Get the fuck off!" I am ripping at belt buckle and can undo it almost as quickly as Spencer can…I throw myself onto the floor and kick them off trying to get rid of the brain creature at the same time. "Get it off me!" But there is no one to help and it slides and slithers and slips up my leg and towards my hips.

Stay sitting down…don't for fuck's sake stand up it will be up my arse quicker than I can say 'princess and the scarecrow.'…I slap and scrape at it but bits fall off and break and they reform and make more of the bastards. The one on me is hot. I can feel it scalding and burning it's way over my skin. Moving slower now as I pull at its spiny legs and rip them from it's body.

I can hear Spencer screaming and looking over at him I see his hands over his face and things crawling over towards him. I move. I have to move. I cant stay here. Quickly I get up kicking away the things at my feet and sliding over the slime trails they are leaving behind.

They have him. They are making their way into his ears and over his chest and across his legs.

They walk in quick scuttling jerky movements into his hair and I haven't sealed his skull so I try now quickly to stop them from going back to where they want to be and I can feel the bigger one on me now moving behind me. I cant stop them…There are too many. Spencer is screaming and kicking and writhing on the floor as the things slide back into him and take control again….and so I lie down next to him. I wrap my arms tightly around him. "It's OK Spence. I'm here. I'm not letting you go." And I feel it ripping its way inside me. My mind is sliding away now and I can feel Spencer shaking and twitching as I pull him close.

And the lights go out.

* * *

**A/N: THE END………………..until I do the sequel. MuahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHA!**


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